GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE
This is mom (20 years ago) a few months after my dad had passed away. Trying to put some joy back in her life, my husband and I flew her to Disney World. We had a wonderful time and for mom, just spending time with her one and only grandchild, always made her smile.
My parents were married for fifty years and dad's death was not an easy one. For nine months Mom traveled quite a distance every day to be with him. She was so strong and never complained. This was a time in my life that I really admired and respected her.
I flew down once a month to see my dad and even more to spend some time with her. It was a time, as sad as it was, that I was happy to be with mom. We were like "teenage girls" and once again we bonded.
As I think back I can remember other times that I felt close to her, yet also other moments that we definitely went to battle. As I reminisce, I realize that this was the only other time, since I moved out of my childhood home, that I phoned mom every day. Not until she became ill with Alzheimer's did my daily phone calls start again. I terribly miss these calls no matter how silly some of our conversations would be. Just the sound of her voice brought music to my heart.
All that is left for me is to call the nursing home daily and hear the nurses tell me how mom is doing. I always say how much I miss her and request that they tell her that I love her. They reassure me that they will. I don't know why, but this makes me feel better. It makes me feel that I am connected to her.
Now that mom is further along with her disease she hardly has any memory left. For her, time stands still and yet for me it keeps moving on. Mom cannot remember the good nor the painful times. Not remembering the hurtful ones in her life, is the only blessing that goes along with having Alzheimer's.
I wish that we could be with one another as we once were. This is not reality so I like to think of her smiling face and the joy that we once were able to share. I think of the good times and all the love I have in my heart for her; leaving the tough times behind.
I might have wasted some years yet I am so thankful that I was able to get in touch with how very much I love her. I was given a second chance; one that I will never forget. This I do not take for granted.
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