Picture is from 2012 (mom already had Alzheimer's)
THE LONG GOODBYE
I haven't seen my mother since the pandemic began in March 2020.Without any notice, mom's nursing home was shut down like so many others around the country. As of now, only with a scheduled appointment would I be able to visit her outside. Since she resides in Florida and I live in New York that sadly is not possible as of now.
I guess the next best thing is being able to FaceTime with her. Mom can no longer see due to macular degeneration. Her eyes remain closed mainly because of Alzheimer’s . With some wonderful assistance from hospice staff when they visit, or an employee from the nursing home, I get to see and speak to her every few weeks.
When these planned calls transpire I see my mom either lying in bed or slumped over in a wheelchair. Her eyes are closed yet when she hears the sound of my voice I know that not only does she hear me, she also recognizes my voice, as she nods her head in an up and down motion. Sometimes her eyes flutter as she tries to open them. I tell her how very much I love and miss her as her head still moves to let me know she is hearing me. The very first time we did the FT call I was anxious yet, as we proceeded, tears rolled down my face and at that moment I was glad that she could not see me.
The head of nursing who I speak to frequently called to tell me that my mom lost 3 more pounds and now weighs 76 lbs. She mentioned that her skin color is good and it's amazing that the wound on her leg had healed. She continues to say that she is not eating and the weight loss is not a positive thing. I pray to myself once again wondering if mom is finally getting ready to let go.
As my mind clears, I once again pray that mom would just go to sleep, something that I have wished for these last several years. I hope that in 2021 she will finally find peace for this has been a very "long goodbye".
As I think back about the last eight years I am so touched by all the love & support that my Blog & FB friends have given me. It has been a long journey for most of us and I am so grateful and thankful for all of you. We are a “ family” that unfortunately have walked similar paths and we all have an appreciation and understanding of what all of us are going through.
I am thinking of our loved ones and the families who suffer from this horrific disease, and hope that we all stay safe through this pandemic .
"Letter To My Mom" & My Mom My Hero are both available on Amazon worldwide. Ebook, Audio, Paperback.
