My Birthday

Today when I called my mom I was excited because I will be visiting her in 2 weeks.  Mom's voice chirps up with enthusiam because I am coming, and asks me if I am  bringing any of my kids "? I answer that I am coming alone because everyone has to work.  My mom has only one grandchild that she absolutely adores, and I know that she did not refer to Logan by name, because she has no memory of his name.

Is the other child my husband of thirty years who visited  mom with me in December? I choose not to ask mom who she meant, because she has told me every day that she cannot remember anything. So there is no need to upset or maybe frustrate her.

My mom seems to not have much of a long term memory either. Whenever she says something about having no memory what I always say to her is ; "Mom you remember how much I love you " and mom answers" yes I do". So I then say "mom you have a memory" and we both laugh.  I think it's better to keep things light.

MY BIRTHDAY

 July 12 has passed and gone and it is my birthday.  I call my mom to say hello and of course remind her that today is my birthday, which is something I’ve been telling her about almost every day for a week now. She asks me what day is today and I answer July 12^th. This time she does not ask me how old I am or her age for that matter.

She has been sounding so great for the last week. The week before this she had some “off days” where she did not sound so alive, nor did I hear that cheerfulness, that I normally hear. Anyway, I had the privilege of my mother singing Happy Birthday to me, and she added in her own lyrics at the end. “I love you so much, I love you so much, and hope you love me too”! Mom actually made a poem out of it which she often does (while not being able to remember the words).

 Maybe years ago when she and my dad sang to me together, it was nice yet not like now.  I now seem savoir everything that she says and does.  I think that part of my shift in my relationship with my mom, is that I simply cherish every day that I have with her, and every word that she speaks. It’s almost similar to when you see your child eat, walk or talk for the very first time.  I guess you can say that you “capture “the moment.