Yesterday when I tried calling my mom I found her telephone out of order. I really missed speaking to her .I was able to speak to my brother who would be visiting my mom later that day and he would see what the problem was. As I sat getting a pedicure in the late afternoon a feeling of loneliness had come over me. I had been at the Alzheimer's Association , NYC Chapter earlier in the day meeting with the Volunteer Program Coordinator and I had shared with her about not being able to reach my mom earlier. The sadness that I was feeling was that I really missed hearing my moms cheerful voice and telling her who would be coming to visit her that day.
I wonder if my mom also felt some void and missed hearing my voice and our laughter together that we get to share on most days. I know that my mom does not remember that I call her each day, yet I hold on to all the days that we still have left, when I get to hear my mom's sweet voice say "hi Lisa and I miss you and love you". Who could ever ask for more !
RAINDROPS AND LADY LIBERTY
Mom told me that it is raining so hard out and she said” listen I’ll open the door so you can listen to the rain". “Okay mom” and that is exactly what she did. I did hear the heavy drops and told her to please stay inside. She said that she had gotten dressed so nice today in green pants with a matching green necklace with pearls, but since it is raining so hard she won’t be going out. So I told her that when I’m visiting in 2 weeks with Logan that when we go out to celebrate her birthday and she can get all dressed up. Ruthie said" great", and repeated which she has done a lot lately, her birthday date of August 24 i. The last few weeks she has recalled this day quite a few times where prior to this she did not know it. I guess another blessing from sweet Ruthie, my mom.
The next stop on my list of things to do that day was Bert (my husband) & I went to lower Manhattan on the subway to take a ride on the Staten Island Ferry. I was never on it and I believe it has become a real tourist destination since it is now free. Imagine on a beautiful summers day taking a ferry across the East River in the harbor for a thirty minute ride each way for free. It was filled with tourists from other countries snapping pictures of the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. The water was greenish blue in color and the sun was glistening off of the ripples in the water. There was a wonderful cool breeze. As we passed Ellis Island I had recalled the one and only time that I was there and that was about 12-14 years ago when we took my mom to Ellis Island. This is where both my mom and dad's parents had come through when entering the United States from Russia and Austria many years ago. After that we then took my mom to the Statue of Liberty which has, and is always been so thrilling to me. It is a place that I hold dear to my heart.
My first time there was as a young child with my parents and brother. Sadly enough this time my dad could not be with us (since he has passed away.) Remembering both times that I was there and the memories left me feeling such warmth and comfort. My mom and I were getting along so well for a couple of years after my dad had died.
How and why did it all change? What could have happened between my mom and me? Today I am so proud to say, that I’m so glad that she is my mom. Lucky, lucky me.
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