LIKE A MIRACLE
I have heard that Alzheimer's can come and go. Actually it never really disappears yet there can be moments and even a day where speaking to my mom, she almost seems not to have any form of dementia. Okay maybe I am exaggerating a little, although when these moments come it feels like a miracle.
My brother recently told me a cute story about my mom's conversation with a visiting nurse. The nurse was trying to see if my mom needed any other care. My brother and Trudy her caregiver, were with her when the nurse arrived. She asked my mother many questions, ones that mom could not answer correctly. Then the nurse asked mom if she knew what month it was. My mom answered "July". The nurse said" no it's April". My feisty mom responded, "if you know what month it is then why ask me"? As my brother shared this with me, we both laughed and I smiled with pleasure, a pleasure, that mom was still there.
Yesterday when I spoke to my mom her dementia seemed to be gone. I started the conversation by telling her that Logan would be staying at my house for a week while studying for a test. I explained that he had three roommate's, and after working all day it was hard to study in his apartment. Not only did my mom listen, she also was able to make comments about him and ask me questions. Being in the moment, my mom spoke about Logan, her one and only grandchild. She reminisced how smart and sweet he is. Could this really be miracle ? You see my mom on most days cannot follow a conversation, and does not remember her grandsons name.
From far away each day as I speak to my mom I try to stimulate her mind,by the use of words, questions and of course spelling and singing. There are times she rushes me off the phone by saying "I'm going to hang up now". "Mom I just called, and mom says anyway, "I'm going to say goodbye". "That's okay mom just before you hang up, you need to throw me my kisses". And once again that is how our phone calls end. I catch her kisses, as when I was a young child, and safely place them in my pocket.
I am able to enjoy all the words my mom still can say. I do not question the other parts. What would be the sense? It would only upset me, so I choose to appreciate and savor, what I still can call these special moments. Are they miracles? Or perhaps magic? To me, it does not really matter.
Yes, it's truly a disease where we all live in the moments and are grateful for those moments of seeming clarity. Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteWonderful story! Thank you for sharing it me (and the cyber-world). Hope my story comes as some comfort to you and what your mother and those in her condition is experiencing.
ReplyDeleteBe sure to leave a comment, if you like. http://igomene-joseph.blogspot.com/2012/04/when-it-comes-to-mental-illnesses-what.html
Hi Lisa
ReplyDeleteMy Mom suffers from this horrendous disease also and your story really hit home! So far this has happened to me twice, where she is as lucid as you and I. And like your Mom, she no longer knows her grandchildrens names, and has been forgetting mine as well. She knows I am her daughter, but thats it. The moments you are speaking of sure seem like miracles to me, and I savor every one of them - aren't they great? I wish they would last forever. I see her every other day and call her every night to say "Sweet dreams, I love you." It's not easy.
Thank you both for your stories...I thank God everyday that my Sister and I can be there to help support Mom during this scary time and also support each other. My Mom, like yours, is so special and each day we have with her, is truly a blessing. She recently broke her hip and we were told by the doctor 5 separate times that we should brace ourselves, because we were going to lose her, because of all the complications. But 3 months later, she just celebrated her 91st birthday and proved the doctors wrong!
ReplyDeleteBut with the injury we lost so much of our "mother" because the trama put her into deep dementia. Yesterday, I went to visit her and she seemed completely normal as well, but by the end of the visit she was telling me how the birds kept running through the house (instead of dog) and how she thought everyone was stealing from her.
The forgetfulness I can handle, but the fear and paranoia makes me feel so sad for her. I realized that I was living the same life that my Mom lived with her own mother, as my grandma also had this dreaded disease. How do you both deal with the guilt of not being with your Mom 24/7? She used to live with my sister before the fall, but now we have put her in Board and Care Private Care Home ,and it kills us when she asks to come home. Big Hugs, Laura
Also do either of your Mom's have Sundowner's symptoms?
ReplyDeleteOMG Lisa... I just saw your photos... your Mom is adorable!
ReplyDeleteYour mama reminds me of my mom, and your journey sounds very much like my mother's earlier years. (My mother was short, sweet, very loving, and very Jewish.) The simple, amazingly truthful wisdom and remarks that got to the core of social matters were true gifts. I wish I had kept a journal, it would have helped me remember the painful and confused times (and help alleviate my extreme guilt over her living in an assisted living facility, fortified with my daily visits), as well as the joyous love and deep connections, when she could no longer follow a conversation. Glad you have a sibling that is helping you and is supportive. I can tell you are blessed with a loving and accepting attitude, as well as support. May G-d be with your whole family on this journey.
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