SENTIMENTAL FEELINGS
As I sat down to write my blog post I started thinking about this past Sunday, when it was Mother's Day. Mine was a special one, since I was able to celebrate and be with my son.
Of course I missed seeing my mom and called the nursing home several times trying to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. I was unable to reach her, yet I did speak to the nurse and asked her to please send mom my love and kisses. In truth it did not really matter for mom would not understand what I was speaking about.
The distance between us keeps us apart, although I think that I was missing more the pieces of mom that are no longer present. I missed the laughter and conversations that we once shared. I missed being able to call her and describe what was happening in my life.
I wanted to get away from feeling unhappy, so I decided to choose a picture for my blog that would bring me some joy. I picked a picture of my mother and father from the mid eighties. Logan, my son was around three years old, and mom and dad in their early sixties. These were very happy times, ones that I love to recall and reminisce about.
Today mom's journey is so different. She is slipping away more each day, and dad passed away over nineteen years ago. Life seems to go round in circles, the young grow up, we become older, as life continues to moves on.
I choose to focus on the brighter days, ones that were filled with a love so pure and strong. I hope that the memories I have of my parents will remain with me. I want to cherish whatever life I have left, and to feel as much happiness that each day can bring.
Today is a gift for no one knows what tomorrow holds. So let's try to celebrate our lives and not hold on to the things that are troubling us.
I wish that I could take away mom's Alzheimer's and bring her back to whole, yet I cannot. Having the strength to be thankful for what we have, is certainly a gift that I want to treasure.
MY MOM MY HERO is for all the special people in your
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Interesting!!!!
ReplyDeleteLisa you are very correct when you elude to the fact it is not the distance but instead it is this dam disease. I can tell you this I spent 7 years as te only caregiver for my Mom and if I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. The Mom I used to know was gone but the new Mom and I made new memories sometimes every 5 minutes (ha ha). The one thing that you will see is every once in a while when you least expect it something will emerge of the old Mom and you will cherish this forever. Keep the faith and I hope you get to share many more Mother's Days with your Mom. Hugs Carol
ReplyDeleteCarol thanks so much for sharing . Hugs right back to you.
DeleteLisa
I share that sadness as my MIL never knows it's Mother's Day either - though on the upside is always surprised and happy by the flowers, chocolates and cards!
ReplyDeleteKeep posting - I am enjoying the blog!
DG x
www.dementiapoetry.com
DG thank you.
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