MOM'S "NEW" WORLD
In less than three months I will be back in Florida to spend some valuable time with my mom. As the countdown begins I feel a conflict of emotions; excitement, since I will be able to see her every day, and nervousness wondering what she will be like.
I wonder why, when I think of her, my feelings of love and queasiness go hand in hand. Her world seems to have stopped as if the arms of a clock were frozen in time. Why can't I just except what her "new "world now consists of ?
As her daughter and caregiver I seem to envision what I would not want for her. If mom had a looking glass before, and had known what her life would have looked like, would she have asked me to "save" her from this world; a universe of Alzheimer's and a world that is still so unknown ?
Alzheimer's has different stages and although mom has been in stage 6 for some time now, she appears as she did a year ago. It is over eleven years since she has dementia. Is this good or bad? Is she one of the lucky ones ? It is all how one looks at it. I believe that mom is not suffering so then I feel that, given this disease, this is all that I can ask for.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like not to know where you are, what day it is, if the sun is shining, or if it is raining? What did you eat for dinner last night and how did you spend your day? What is your favorite movie or what book did you just finish? These are the simple everyday things of life that most of us take for granted. Can you imagine not knowing any of these answers?
I question, who is the one truly suffering? Is it my mom or is it me? I think we as caregivers know that answer. Yet there is nothing we can do. I ,like you, sit and wait. Fortunately I still cherish her smiles, her laughter and as each days go by, me in my world, and mom in her "new" world, I take a deep breath and keep moving on.
MY MOM MY HERO book is dedicated to my mother and yours.
Available on Amazon & Kindle & Audio.
How true this is. However, in the early stages, they do suffer such torment. As the caregiver of my husband who has Lewy body dementia, I see the torment he goes through daily. Right now he is in the hospital after lung cancer surgery, & has to have someone stay with him, as he struggles to find the words to explain things. Last time he was in the hospital, he was by himself through the night & because of his rem sleep disorder, had awful dreams that he still believes really happened, so to keep those dreams from becoming a reality, here I sit. Though he has turned pretty docile, he is a big man at 6'3" & 230 & strong! This indeed is one of life's cruel diseases.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your husband. He and you will be in my prayers. Sending some strong hugs to you. Lisa
DeleteWhat a great blog and tribute to your mother Lisa.
DeleteI have recently lost my dad to dementia and lost my mother in 2009 to dementia, so have been through the mill. I am presently writing a blog about my experiences hoping to help others get through it.
Your mother looks wonderful! Try and bottle every smile and memory whilst you can.
Congratulations to your son and new wife.
Kind Regards.
Gordon.
Gordon so sorry about your dad & mom. My mom's younger brother also passed away from Alzheimer's. Love to see your blog. Have you seen my book? My Mom My Hero. It's on Amazon. Thanks so much for contacting me . Lisa
DeleteHi Lisa. This is a terrible illness. I shall be getting your book this weekend. I see you wrote it back in 2012? Time for another, an update on where your mum is now maybe? I have just started my blog and I am just going through my mothers horrendous childhood. A lot more to write. I would love your views and opinions though as you are an experienced blogger. I have no idea what I am doing, I am just writing and hope people can put me right and tell me how to make the site better. People have asked me how can they follow the blog. Still not sure best way to do that yet. Please have a look and be as critical as you want. Thanks. Gordon. www.mydementiadiary.com
DeleteGordon my only suggestion and advice is to just keep writing from you heart. Your feelings will flow naturally .It's also a wonderful way to "heal" oneself. I think reading my book which was taken from my blog could inspire you as it has so many others. Love to hear what you think after you read My Mom My Hero. Lisa
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