Friday, August 3, 2012


As I begin my new post I want to share how much I admire and respect my mom's caregiver's. This is Elaine and Trudy(mother & daughter) who have been with my mom for the last several years. They are so caring and special.  I do not know how we would manage without them. Each day they arrive at Ruthie's house around 8AM and leave after they put her to sleep around 8PM . They are so kind and gentle to her.  I know how they have won mom over, and have touched her heart.

In the mornings they make sure that my mom is showered, dressed in clean clothes and prepare and give her three meals a day. They polish her nails, make sure she brushes her teeth, take her for haircuts, to doctors appointments and keep her company twelve hours a day. On most weekends and during the holidays they have her join them, at their own family gatherings.

When they first arrived my mom was a little feisty towards them, refusing to do some of the things they asked of her. Yet they always complimented  how nice she was to them. Today, although my mom can not express this to me, I know that she has so much trust and love for them. Sometimes when they arrive she is standing at the door waiting for them as she looks out her window.  It seems that they have become her lifeline.

This past weekend Elaine told me that they were taking my mom to a baby shower. "Great", I replied. When I spoke to mom she sounded quite sharp and aware. I could tell that this was a good day for her. "Mom I hear that you will be going to a baby shower". Mom quickly answered making a joke, saying that she had already taken a shower(which was true) and was not going to go. "Mom you should go you'll have a lovely time". With strong conviction she replied, that she did not feel like going, and that she'd rather stay home.

The next day I asked Trudy how the baby shower was, and with curiosity I wanted to know how did they ever get my mom out of her house. She confided in me, that to get my mom out of her house, what they will say to her is,"come Ruth follow us." Somehow, Ruthie seems to always follow. When she realizes that they are going in a car, instead of for a walk, she then asks if they will be coming back soon. Of course they say yes, and off they go. They do trick mom a little, although we are pleased that they are getting Ruthie out of her home.

After they were at the baby shower for several hours, my mom then quietly asked if they could leave and go back home . So they packed everything up and off they went . I'm sure that after a stimulating day, my mom had a great nights sleep.

My brother and I love that they not only take such wonderful care of mom, but that they bring her with them to birthday parties, fourth of July fireworks, Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations, as well as their own family barbecue's.  In some strange ways, they seem to have adopted her, and she has become part of their family.

When I think about all the things that they do for my mom, and how they care for her with such kindness and understanding, that not only are they Ruthie's angels, they have also become mine. I wonder what would we ever do without them?


  1. What an amazing treasure you have found in Elaine & Trudy. There is clearly no better word to describe them than Angels! My sister and I took care of my mom at home, but we had an Angel of our own, named Diana, who would come help my mom for a few hours a day most days and give us a little break. Such a blessing to have these Angels on earth!

  2. We've found that a daily routine works best for Mom. Whenever we change it by taking her someplace, she's miserable, makes us miserable, and then the nurses pay for it later, as it sets off agitation for several days. She'll go rummaging for hours for lost items, and worry them constantly about finding something, and cry and usually have to be medicated to calm her down. So taking her anywhere is become not an option. Plus its hard to load up the wheelchair and get it out. I'm not as young as I use to be and that thing is heavy. I've got bruises on my leg from banging it against my leg last week when i took her out for an ice cream cone, and it wasn't worth it. It got her so dizzy riding in the car she was vomiting when I was taking her to her room. I'm glad our mother doesn't react this way.