A BREATH OF FRESH AIR
After one week of my mom not responding in her cheerful way, there were some concerns that she was moving into another phase of Alzheimer's. Ruthie somehow bounced back and once again she was doing "well". She was ready to chat, and chat is what she did. I kept a prospective on what doing "well" actually means, given the destruction from this disease. Mom is not the same person, yet I like to look upon her as still being whole, just in a different place.
I find that being thankful for the little things from Ruthie is all that I can ask for. I am thrilled and delighted when our phone calls have sounds of laughter, and mom is still able to understand most of the things that I share with her. I know that I need to keep my communication with her simple. No longer can I tell her stories, for she will then say that she cannot understand what I am speaking about. Complicated conversations will only confuse her, so for now short and sweet is the way to go.
"Hi mom, did I tell you that I wrote a book about you?" Ruthie with an upbeat voice filled with clarity chimed in "that's very nice of you." I shared that my book was dedicated to her and is called, My Mom My Hero. With much pride in her voice mom sounded delighted and thanked me. I wanted to believe for the moment that she understood everything I just said to her.
Given that she cannot remember that I call each day, I am certain that she has already forgotten about the book . My book honors her, and shares about all the unconditional love that I now feel for her as we travel together on her journey.
Mom continues with,"Lisa I thought you were coming to visit today." "No mom that would be impossible since I do not live close to you." "Oh where do you live?" "I live in New York." "I'm sorry I forgot, and I will wait for you to visit no matter how long it takes." With those words my heart melted and I replied," I'll be coming in a few weeks, but right now I'm waiting for my kisses." Her response was, "I didn't know that you were waiting for my kisses." She made me laugh and I made sure to let her know, that my day is not complete without them.
After hanging up I had a passing thought of what would it be like when she can no longer throw these kisses. A day that I do not want to think about, and I only want to celebrate now her being alive .I know that for me as long as mom can still have a breath of fresh air, I am grateful.
These simple things in life that one can take for granted, are for me what really counts. My mom today still fills my heart with a love that I deeply cherish. Life can be great and life can be tough ,yet how we choose to look at it can really make a diffference.
My Book is now Available on Amazon and Kindle Worldwide.
Here is the link.
Lisa contact me on caregivers coast to Coast and we can set up an interview so you can tell our listeners about your wonderful book
ReplyDeleteLisa,
ReplyDeleteJust finished your book, awesome job. I felt as if I wrote it myself, the only difference is my Mom is in a nursing facility as I am unable to care for her at home anymore. I visit with her everyday sometimes twice a day, we have always been extremely close, best friends and I miss our relationship the way it was, yet I treasure what our relationship has now become. This disease is dreadful, please let your readers know that any caregiver should pay strong attention to the medications that nursing facilities will attempt to give their loved ones. They have given Mom Haldol which they told me would help with aggitation, well shame on me for trusting them. It knocked her for a loop until I demanded she be taken off it. I sometimes think that I should write about this experience to help others, you have helped me and Thank You.
Lynne
Hi Lynne, I'm sorry to hear about your mom and so happy that you spoke up. Thank you for reading my book. I'd love to write back to you personally yet you left me no email address. If you could post a review on Amazon about my book, I would greatly appreciate it and please email me your address. Hugs, Lisa
ReplyDeleteThank You Lisa. Here it is Lynne.Banner@us.ngrid.com I will post a review on Amazon for sure. You can contact me anytime. Good Luck with Mom.
DeleteLynne
My Grandmother died in March 2012 at the age 74. My Grandfather, her husband of almost 60 years, is also succumbing to the disease. I couldn't love them both more if I tried.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this book. I have yet to read it, but thank you.
I spent weekends reading her Bible verses to help her sleep instead of doing what other 23-year-olds do on weekends. Some days were good, others were bad.
She was admitted to the hospital one night for observation because the nursing home she was at was worried about her heart. I slept in the chair next to her bed, hoping it might help her be more comfortable, even though at that point, she no longer remembered me. In the morning, the doctor asked her who I was... the last thing she said to me was, "I have no idea who that is... But I do know I love her." Soon after that, she lost speech entirely.
For the lack of a more eloquent word, it sucked.. and I don't believe that "it sucked" truly describes the horrendous disease accurately.
Thanks for letting me know I am not alone.
To Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI so hope that you see this message back to you. I'm so sorry about your gandmother and now your grandfather. I know how special they had to be, for you truly are am amazing grandchild. Your love, courage and strength shines through your words of love and caring for them. I hope you know that I am here for you.
Sending hugs, Lisa