THINGS I NEVER WISH TO FORGET
I get a warm fussy feeling inside as I look at the many pictures I have of my mother and family. They bring back so many memories of when we were all much younger. I remember each one vividly as if it was just yesterday. I find it difficult not to reflect on how quickly all of our lives go by.
Seeing certain photos brings back the years my mother and I had our ups and downs. Our relationship completely healed fourteen years ago after she became ill. Alzheimer's was the culprit yet because of it our relationship took on a whole new meaning. What transpired was this new undeniable, unconditional love I felt for her.
Sadly today, although mom is still alive, everything is so different. Her spirit has vanished as well as her memory. For a lady who was once whole, she is now withered away to almost little existence. She spends most of her waking hours sleeping and in the hours she is awake her world remains empty. Life, her family and the world no longer have meaning for her.
How I wish to turn back the clock for a few minutes and let my mind wander as I remember all the lovely things we once shared. The joy of my graduation in school, my marriage, the birth of my son, his graduation, his marriage and the list goes on. The trip we all took to DisneyWorld in Orlando after my dad passed away. I remember how mom loved to read and adored to travel.My parents went to Mexico, Israel and then Italy where they celebrated their 50th Anniversary. Mom loved going to museums, antiquing, theater & movies. One of my fondest memories as a child was going with my parents to visit the Statue of Liberty and Franklin D Roosevelts home in Hyde Park, N.Y.
I can still envision her smiles, her laughter and the simple little things that once gave
her pleasure. These were moments that I unfortunately just took for granted. I did not give her space to be who she really was. Instead I focused on the negative things. I lost time not loving her for who she was. Fortunately, today my heart is only filled with deep love for her.
It's interesting for several years ago a close friend said to me that maybe my mom was always loving and I just did not see it. Now not only do I see it, I also cherish it. For these things; her smile, her warmth, her tears, her words of encouragement, her laughter are all things I pray I never will forget.
I love this little lady so deeply from the bottom of my heart!
"Letter To My Mom" & "My Mom My Hero" are both available on Amazon worldwide. Ebook, Audio, Paperback.
https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=lisa+hirsch
Alzheimer's affects the sufferers differently. My parents lost their "harder edges," which was nice.
ReplyDeletexoxo to you my dear friend.
ReplyDeleteI know how difficult it must be watching your Mom become lost. I hate this disease! I just lost my mother last week. All she really would say was she was tired. Then she told us she wanted to go see her parents. We knew that meant she was ready to go to heaven. It's still very difficult. Keep loving her, talking to her, play some music when you're with her she can still hear you even if she doesn't talk to you. Hugs to you❤️
ReplyDeleteSylvia I am truly sorry to hear about your mother. Thank you so much for your kind words. Sending hugs. Lisa
DeleteMy mom pretty much ignored me when I was a child. It was always my two sisters who got the love. I did stuff with dad. When my mom got sick, she thought I was her best friend from school, Don't have who I was. She would ask me if I remembered doing certain things and I would say, oh of course! That was fun. She thought one sister was her sister and the other a nice lady who comes to help her. It's a horrible disease
ReplyDeleteSorry that you felt that your mom gave your 2 sisters "more" love. It's such a fascinating disease and hope you were able to take in your mom's love after all those years. For me if you are not familiar with my story was that I did not get along with my mom till after she became ill. Then I fell unconditionally in love with her. Lisa
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