GOING OUT
At the end of January, 2009 my mom went out to dinner with my brother a little after I had visited her, which is something she hardly ever did. Their Wednesday dates are always for lunch. She started telling me what a nice time she had, so of course I started to encourage her, that if she were to go out more, she might really enjoy herself, and not be bored. My mom got a little adamant to me about this. It must have struck some nerve. At first she said defensively, “who doesn’t go out, you think I stay in all the time"? I like to go places and do things why would that change”?
I had tried to encourage her as I have done many times before, yet given her illness, I have read that some people become not interested in things, and want to remain in their home, which feels to them as a safe environment. They also insist on wearing the same clothes every day. This is definitely how my mom has become since she became ill with Alzheimer's disease.
My mom somehow changes the conversation and says to me,” I miss you, please come and visit” and I say” mom I miss you also and do you remember that I was just there ?" She answers yes, although I do not think that she really does remember (maybe slightly). Then she replies” it’s easier for you to come visit me, than for me to come to you.” I know mom. I’m just sad that we do not live near one another” and we go back into the same conversation that never changes. She then tells me how much she loves her home and that I should move in with her (of course rent free). On a lighter note, maybe I should take her up on it. I am only kidding.
My mom somehow changes the conversation and says to me,” I miss you, please come and visit” and I say” mom I miss you also and do you remember that I was just there ?" She answers yes, although I do not think that she really does remember (maybe slightly). Then she replies” it’s easier for you to come visit me, than for me to come to you.” I know mom. I’m just sad that we do not live near one another” and we go back into the same conversation that never changes. She then tells me how much she loves her home and that I should move in with her (of course rent free). On a lighter note, maybe I should take her up on it. I am only kidding.
As I read this entry to put into my blog, I realize that now which is May 2011 my mom has not changed that radically. Yes her memory is almost all lost yet she seems to be somewhere in the same place. How lucky I still am, that in so many ways my mom is still with me. As I have mentioned before I am so fortunate that I can still find so much joy ,in all that we still have left and not focus on all that has been taken.
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