STILL AT MOM’S
The next day, my mom asks me what day it is, and I say Thursday, she then asks me what time it is and I say its 12 noon/lunchtime. Mom says its dark outside and when I look out I see the bright sun shining with a clear blue sky. She goes from telling me jokes to in and out of “normalcy”. I ask her to spell normal and she spells it in 2 seconds flat. The brain is quite amazing. She can spell words immediately without writing anything down. How can she not know what day it is, what time it is, or even notice that the sun is shining?
I’ll be leaving to go back to New York in two days. I had started writing in a journal which I titled My Mom, My Hero to help ease some pain, and to also delight in all our uplifting conversations on the telephone while I’m back at my home. I brought my writing journals on the trip with me. The first thing I ever wrote about my mom, with tears running down my face I read it to her. My mom responds by saying, “Lisa you write very well” and I say thank you. I am just so touched that she was able to understand what I read her.
Today, I finally get to meet Elaine, and see how happy my mom is around her. I have been hearing about and speaking to Elaine for months. Elaine is just so lovely, caring and warm. I know in my heart that without her, my mom would be lost. My mom’s disease (not my mom speaking) would say that she does not like her and refuses to remember her name. Currently my mom looks forward to Elaine’s visits to her every day. Elaine makes sure that Ruthie is showered, dressed, brushes her teeth and eats a well balanced meal. Of course some things never change, and Ruthie will still say to me, who's Elaine?
I found while doing meals on wheels that the elderly whether they have alzheimers, dementia, or nothing, are lonely. They want their independence to live in their own homes, but they miss people, and the highlight of their day would be the meals arriving at noon. I don't think so much for the food, but for the visit by a real human for just a few minutes. They always wanted to show pictures of their deceased spouses and grandchildren and tell you where their kids live. Every other week on Tuesdays it was mexican food, and one little lady had the food schedule memorized and when i arrived at her house she'd have the hot sauce sitting out on her bar. Her husband was in the navy during WWII and she always wanted me to see his picture by the front door in his uniform. She had no children but a niece in a small town about 15 miles from Amarillo. I could tell she was a very lonely lady. She collected elephants in her front window, so one day I took her a few of mine, as I too was collecting elephants, and she never forgot that for as long as I brought her meals, on Tuesdays, she would point out which ones I had brought. It's so sad to see the elderly living such lonely lives, and I tell my husband longevity is not all that it's cracked up to be, quality of life and relationships are more important. Keep writing. Mom was right, you do write well.
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