LUCKY, LUCKY ME
I'm back home approximately three weeks now, since spending seven glorious days with my mom. I like using the word glorious, for when I look at all the wonderful pictures I have from my visit I see such joy on her face. These memories are still in my conscious and light up my life.
I remember guests in the hotel asking if I was on a vacation and how long I was staying. My answer was always the same. I would be there for eight days and the reason for my trip was to spend each day seeing my mother, who was in a nursing home. I would mention that she had Alzheimer's. Politely the answers were always the same. "I'm so sorry." I took notice of my response, which was as genuine as the smile on my face and I answered," I feel so fortunate to still have her."
If I let my mind travel down certain paths, I would feel some sadness. For myself and mom, I know that I need to remain is the "space" of feeling blessed.
Since then each day that I phone the nursing facility, even if I cannot reach mom, I have a connection with all the nurses. This makes me feel secure that my mom is being well cared for. The nurses know that she is loved by her family and not forgotten.
Even if my visits are not daily, my phone calls can be. I've been calling my mom everyday for the last nine years and this means the world to me, something that I will not stop.
I have been able to speak to her at least three times a week since I am back home. With each phone call mom wants to know when I am coming to visit her. Although, she does not remember that I was with her, it somehow connects to her brain that I was just present in her life.
I have been so fortunate to hear her say," I know you love me and you know how much I love you." Somehow my visits bring me back into her "universe". Enjoying it now with no false pretenses that this will last is more than I can ask for.
Being a long distance caregiver is not always easy. I may not like it, although I have accepted it. Life is not always how we might choose, yet there is one thing that means the world to me; I know how much I adore her and how deep her love is for me. So today, I call myself lucky, lucky me.
My Mom My Hero book is for all the special people in our lives.
Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.
http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Hero-Alzheimers-A-daughters-bittersweet/dp/0615773982/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1381851317&sr=1-1
Hi Lisa
ReplyDeleteFound the link to your blog on the FMN Facebook page. It's a breath of fresh air to read this. So much of what i read is complaining but you have found the joy which is our path as well.
We are eight years into AD. Our mom is 89 and pretty healthy for which we are thankful. We live close by and see her on a regular basis and like you the staff knows us - well!
We are lucky and living with her in her world - meeting her in her world is the best we can do. We do it with love and for that I know that we will never regret it.
Caregiving is hard work and I hope you inspire just one person to be better at what they do. Someday our parents will be gone. Go to the light.
Best to you,
Kimberly
Hi Kimberly, I just want to say how much I appreciate your sentiments of what I write. It means a lot. My mom is also 89 and 9 years into AD. So glad we have "met" and I only wish you , your mom and your family the very best. Happy 2014 . Hugs, Lisa
DeleteHi, my mom was just diagnosed. I feel pretty scared.
ReplyDeleteJannie I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Just know that there is alot of support out there for you, your mom & your family. I am here for you. Where do you live so I may be able to make some suggestions. Lisa
DeleteThank s for posting. my mum has recently been diagnosed your posting has helped me....jennin I understand how you feel, its sad I just take it one day at a time....
ReplyDeleteSo sorry again to hear about your mum. What a tragic disease this is. I'm here for all of you. Hugs to all, Lisa
Deleteomg that has tears of joy for me my mam is diagnosed with the same and it is so trus just to have her safe and happy smile is so important
ReplyDeletekind regards
susn farrell ireland
Barbers, I really try to bring some insights and support to all the others that are going through this with their loved ones. I am here for you always. Give your mam a big hug for me. Hugs to you, Lisa
DeleteYou’re such an inspiration, Lisa. It’s not really easy to be far from our mom. It’s a good thing that you found a good nursing home for her. Somehow you’re relieved that your mom is in good hands and well taken care of. Anyhow, 8 days may be a short time but what's important isn't the number but how you spent it with her.
ReplyDeleteDemetrius @ HomeCareSugarLand.com
Dear Demetrius, I am thankful that you can understand and appreciate that being a long distant caregiver is difficult. Thank you for sharing your comment with me/us. Lisa
Deletewas amazed by your article because it is so informative. It really gives clear information especially for senior health care. This product from MIT is also one of a kind because it offers 24/7 companionship for seniors to keep them entertained. You can visit their website at http://www.gerijoy.com/
ReplyDeleteThank you Dan. Lisa
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