As the New Year begins I feel that it's a time for me to reflect back on the year that just ended.
As I look at this picture I see my dad who passed away almost eighteen years ago, and my son Logan, who is now twenty five years old. As I look at my mother I see a woman who was young and filled with life, and in my eyes quite beautiful .
This was many years ago and a time that I guess I never would have ever imagined that my mother would have gotten Alzheimer's. Perhaps in the late 80's, I was not even aware of this disease. I believe the big scare back then was hearing about all the women who were getting breast cancer . This was a different time, one that in some ways I wish I could turn the clocks back to.
It seems that our lives go by so quickly, and at moments some of us may take many things for granted. Probably not until we age, do we realize what a gift each day is, and not until then are we able to fully appreciate and endure all the beauty that surrounds us.
Now is the start of a brand New Year (2013), and after calling mom to wish her a Happy New Years she was also able to wish me one in return . The day before she had no idea what I was speaking about, as I tried to explain to her that a new year was be beginning. Mom has no idea anymore of what day it is, or what time it is, and at moments she is confused whether it is day or night. So how could she possibly ever understand that it is now the start of a new year.
In the scope of things none of this matters to me, for although mom's memory has gotten worse, she seems to be doing pretty well, given the circumstances. She still has a sense of humor and can have some quick and sharp responses to words we share together. She enjoys laughing, singing and visits from her children.
I have my moments of joy and my moments of saddness, yet I still can find more beauty in what the two of us still share. Each day when I call I can hear her sweet voice overjoyed to hear from me. I hear her bursts of laughter and I sense her delightfulness to be alive.
Mom seems to celebrate her life, and as along as I know she is happy and not suffering, I too can have an enormous feeling of happiness. Yes, I know that this is not the same mom in the picture of many years ago, yet this is another time in both of our lives. A time that I do not want to take for granted. Everyday that we all wake up is truly a blessing. Maybe mom did not know when she awoke this morning, that it was 2013, yet she woke up with a smile on her face and love in her heart.
I wish to live in the moment with her and to toast another year that we may share. A year that I hope will be filled for us, still being able to feel our love and affection for one another. It is a day that I was able to hear her precious words say to me "I'm glad that you love me, because I also love you."