The other day when I hung up the phone with my mother, I wondered what was the meaning of a mother and a daughter . How do I describe it and what does it mean to me? At certain moments she forgets who I am. Sometimes she thinks that I am either a friend, or even her own mother. In my heart I believe that she knows that I am her daughter. Yet there are the moments when she may not always be able to express it. The relationship is an inexplicable bond that cannot be broken.
Regardless of the different feelings I might have had towards her through my years of growing up, she was always my mother, and I was always her daughter.
I found several different descriptions : A mother is a woman who conceived you and went through the birthing experience. A person who raises a child is a mother. A person who loves and cares for a child is a mother. Essentially your mother is the woman who raises you and cares for you. On the other hand the dictionary states that a daughter is a female child or person in relation to her parents. In this instance it is my mother.
When I called her the other day she was the one to answer, which rarely happens. I excitedly said "hi mom, it's your daughter on the phone." Mom's quick response with a big question in her voice was "you are my daughter?" "Yes mom you gave birth to me , as I continued to explain to her that she was my mother and I was her daughter." Mom declared that this was good, yet did she truly understand who I was?
The following day when I spoke to mom she sounded alert. I could tell by what she was saying that she was having a rather good day. So bravely, I asked her the question of what is the meaning of a daughter to her. Mom intimately declared that it was somebody that you loved and then added in that everybody loves their daughter, and with deep thought said that she could never imagine someone not loving their child.
With much passion in my heart I shared that I was so proud to be her daughter. Mom answered that she was also thrilled to be my mother.
I wonder how years ago before my mom got Alzheimer's what could have been my problem. For after she became ill, I desperately fell in love with her. It astonishes me that out of her disease it renewed for me my love, relationship and committment to her. Not only do I adore her, I also have so much respect for her.
Today I get to love her each and every day whether mom's disease is acting up or not. Sometimes I may feel like the roles have reversed, yet this is now my gift to her. At one time I wished for a different mother and today it is a privilege for me that I was blessed to have her as my mother.
My definition of a mother is someone who loves unconditionally and places the needs of her children above her own, not only with words but also with actions. The meaning of being a daughter is to always love, honor and cherish my mother. Yes, I now know and understand the meaning of mother, for me, my mom has become my hero who I love completely .
It's very touching to read your blog.I wanted to also share a blog I started with my friend that I thought you would appreciate. It's called "when the table turns." www.whenthetableturns.com
ReplyDeleteVery warmly, Judy Fox