WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO VISIT ?
This picture was taken this past December when I went with my husband to visit my mom. We were in Florida and we were able to see her for six wonderful days . Thiis visit was special, for not only did I get to spend precious time with her, mom also had several good days. One day that I spent with her, in many ways felt like a miracle.
The moment that I returned home, mom had no idea that I was just with her, or maybe in some ways she did(which I will never know). For most days after my return she would question me about when I was coming to visit her. I will not be returning till March, yet I will be surprising mom by bringing with me her one and only grandchild. In the past mom adored Logan and today she does not remember who he is nor his name. Yet when he does visit she lights up, and you can feel all the love and joy that resonates within her.
Mom no longer understands time. I think for her time stands still or maybe it is all rolled into one. Days, weeks, and months all have little meaning to her. Although when I answer her that I will be coming in several months she does not seem joyous, yet when I say in a few weeks she is delighted that it will be soon .
Sometimes she requests that I should come over the same day that I am speaking to her. Of course I explain to her that I live far away in NYC, and that I would need to get on a plane. Mom usually has difficulty understanding this and she is also surprised about where I live. I wonder why I even try to explain this to her . Maybe it is because I refuse to give into this disease.
As our phone calls come to an end each day, I collect my daily kisses from her. These kisses mean the world to me. Today she was so cute for after she threw me her kisses, she added in by saying "Lisa why don't you just save them." With an overjoyed heart and a huge smile on my face I said ,"mom this is a really great idea."
I feel so blessed because my mother has been doing so well these last several months. I know how strange this disease is, and how it effects her in many different ways. Alzheimer's steals her fondest memories and yet for her and I it cannot take away the bond of love that we share.
If I had to think what is the hardest part for me, it certainly is the distance that lies between us. The ocean may separate us ,yet my heart is always with her as we travel together on this journey.So each time I hear mom say "when are you coming to visit ," I feel quite lucky and I am always thrilled to hear her words.
Lisa, your blog is such an inspiration to so many! I am sure going through this process this blogging has helped heal the pain as well. As a gerontologist working with Alzheimer's patients has its challenges but also has so many wonderful moments. Since having children I have stepped away from it but I still am a magnet to elderly people! The stories they have and love to share puts a beautiful smile on so many peoples lives. Keep up your blog, I love reading about you mom.
ReplyDeleteI am so moved and touched by your comment and your committment to the elderly. You are quite a special person. Lisa
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing Lisa! I could not have said it better about my Mom also including the circumstance of distance between us! The many calls, the many same questions, the sound of her voice, the I Love You's, etc....one day...it will not be there....for now...I will drink it all in! (hugs)
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