Friday, January 31, 2014



As my mother enters the latter stages of her life, whether or not she has Alzheimer's, I try to keep a smile on my face and faith in my heart. Mom will be turning ninety years old in six months. The reports from the medical team at the nursing facility tell us that she is extremely healthy.

Yet it is difficult to know how slowly or quickly her body will break down. In several ways mom is strong and appears to have much "life" left in her. Although her memory hardly exists, she still is able to communicate with everyone and stroll around in her Merry Walker. For a woman with Alzheimer's for over nine years, keeping things in the correct perspective, she is doing great.

The other evening at 8PM the nursing home phoned to tell me that mom had a large black and blue mark on her arm. I asked several questions to the nurse, "can she move her arm, is she complaining of any pain?" The nurse reassured me that everything was fine, just that she had to follow procedures to notify the family.

Thanking her for calling, and as I hung up the phone feeling relieved, and noticed that my husband appeared to be upset. He was holding his head as if in anguish. I could not imagine what was possibly running through his mind, and only wanted to comfort him.

I was surprised by his reaction as he shared that he was fearful that was "the" phone call, telling me that my mom had passed away. At that moment tears fell from my eyes and rolled slowly down my cheeks. I knew deep in my heart that one day I will receive this call.

As I look at my mom's life, as long as she is not suffering, I can only be grateful that she is still alive.Yes I have my moments of wondering what kind of existence does she have. When my mind travels down that path I quickly bring myself back to soak up the rays of sun. I know that we are not able to choose how we die, yet we get to choose how we feel and how we wish to live.

I am committed to be "in the space" of being happy. This is how my mother would want me to be.  I embrace celebrating her life, her love and as of today, I will continue to allow "our" sun to keep shining through .

MY MOM MY HERO is for all the special people in your lives. Over 100 great reviews.
Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.


Friday, January 24, 2014



My mom now has had Alzheimer's for over nine years. Her younger brother suffered with this disease before passing away 6 years ago. My grandfather lived to the ripe age of eighty-two and my grandmother died of colon cancer at the age of fifty-six.

Maybe if my grandparents lived longer, especially my grandmother, then they too would have shown signs of dementia. My brother and I wonder what caused this to plague our immediate family. Were there other ancestors who had Alzheimer's ?

We have no answer, yet pray that it skips our generation, and those of our children. By then hopefully there will be a cure or at least some prevention.

Recently, I asked my brother if he could phone me, so I could speak to my mom during his visit. It was late in the afternoon and instead of calling me he sent me a picture of her curled up sleeping in her bed. To be honest seeing her in a hospital bed left me feeling troubled. I also felt sorry that she was unable to enjoy his bi-weekly visit.

A half an hour later my brother phoned and said that mom had woken up, as he placed the phone to her ear. I excitedly asked her is she had some nice dreams. Not only did she answer me sounding perky she responded "yes, I dreamt of how beautiful you are and how much I love you."

This made my day and perhaps my "entire" year. At that second I knew that this was a magical moment. I could hear the presence and clarity in her voice. We continued to converse in ways that have all but vanished for the last few years.

I chose to be brave and presented mom with my favorite question for her. One that I use to ask several times a year. It had intrigued me that although she had no memory she was able to always answer it the same way.

As my brother listened to our conversation, I said, "Mom if you could wish for anything for your children what would it be ?" Mom then said, with a joy from deep within "for my children to be healthy".

I heard my brother utter "what a great answer." At that instant I knew that this was a magical moment. One filled with sunshine as we continue to share not only our love, but our long goodbye.

MY MOM MY HERO is for all the special people in your lives. Over 100 great reviews.
Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.

Friday, January 10, 2014



Dreaming of mom for me is unusual, yet this week I awoke from a dream about her that touched me deeply. It left me feeling all warm and cuddly inside. We were being interviewed by this lady and mom appeared to be forty years younger. In the dream I felt uncomfortable when mom was surprised that I was her daughter. Despite this, I loved being with her and seeing her so full of life, wanting only to return to my dream. I was unable to.

During the holiday season it had been difficult to speak to mom for at least a week. Inside of me, I had all these feelings of how much I missed her, and yearned to hear her say my name.

Last week one evening my brother called to tell me that mom took a fall from her Merry Walker. He was at the nursing home and said that no one saw what happened, except that mom had a rather large gash on her head, located next to her eye. No stitches were needed yet she refused to allow a bandage to be left on her face. The nursing home had hospice assign an aide to sit with her, for at least twenty four hours, which ended up lasting for two days.

Through the last several years mom has taken falls and has happily never fractured anything. I have heard how easily ones breaks something, especially after they have Alzheimer's. It is also quite difficult to fully recover after such an incident.

Fortunately, the only thing that transpired was mom became more confused for a few days . She quickly bounced back to herself  and marched on as she strolled the halls of the nursing home, in her Merry Walker. Like Martha Thatcher who was known as the "Iron Lady". Ruth Elian, my mom has become the "Bionic Woman".

At the age of eighty nine except for having Alzheimer's and macular degeneration she takes no medication and is as healthy as anyone could ever wish for.

Things have returned  back to "normal" and we are able to share with each other how much we love one another .This lady somehow never stops to amaze me. I'm not sure where her inner strengths come from, yet for the last nine years she has become my hero and I am so proud that she is my mother.

My Mom My Hero book is for all the special people in our lives.

Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.


Friday, January 3, 2014



I'm back home approximately three weeks now, since spending seven glorious days with my mom. I like using the word glorious, for when I look at all the wonderful pictures I have from my visit I see such joy on her face. These memories are still in my conscious and light up my life.

I remember guests in the hotel asking if I was on a vacation and how long I was staying. My answer was always the same. I would be there for eight days and the reason for my trip was to spend each day seeing my mother, who was in a nursing home. I would mention that she had Alzheimer's. Politely the answers were always the same. "I'm so sorry." I took notice of my response, which was as genuine as the smile on my face and I answered," I feel so fortunate to still have her."

If I let my mind travel down certain paths, I would feel some sadness. For myself and mom, I know that I need to remain is the "space" of feeling blessed.

 Since then each day that I phone the nursing facility, even if I cannot reach mom, I have a connection with all the nurses. This makes me feel secure that my mom is being well cared for. The nurses know that she is loved by her family and not forgotten.

 Even if my visits are not daily, my phone calls can be. I've been calling my mom everyday for the last nine years and this means the world to me, something that I will not stop.

I have been able to speak to her at least three times a week since I am back home. With each phone call mom wants to know when I am coming to visit her. Although, she does not remember that I was with her, it somehow connects to her brain that I was just present in her life.

I have been so fortunate to hear her say," I know you love me and you know how much I love you." Somehow my visits bring me back into her "universe". Enjoying it now with no false pretenses that this will last is more than I can ask for.

Being a long distance caregiver is not always easy. I may not like it, although I have accepted it.  Life is not always how we might choose, yet there is one thing that means the world to me; I know how much I adore her and how deep her love is for me. So today, I call myself lucky, lucky me.

My Mom My Hero book is for all the special people in our lives.

Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.