Thursday, September 11, 2014



Logan is now twenty six years old and is my mom's only grandchild. She adored him and I know deep down in the mist of "her world" that she still does. Yet today because of Alzheimer's I am unable to share with her the joy I am feeling.

On Sunday my son got engaged to a fabulous lady who mom would have loved. What a magical moment in all of our lives, one that I so badly wanted to share with her. I know in my heart how thrilled she would have been.

 As I picked up the phone to call the nursing home I knew even if I could get mom to listen that she would not be able to comprehend what I was saying to her. What I found even more upsetting was that she would not be able to remember. One of my favorite nurses answered and I was able to share my feelings with her. I had her promise me that she would tell mom, and as I hung up I was secure that my message would be delivered.

As I walked down the streets of Manhattan I started to cry. These were not tears of joy. They were tears of how much I missed mom and how I wished that she could truly hear me. For a few moments I was sad that I could not share this with her. I felt sickened by this disease and thought of how my mother was half alive. I longed for the part of her that once was here.

It's funny because every time that I have shared this with those who are dear to me, tears still flowed down my face. I think my husband expressed what I was feeling. He said that although my mom is still alive, because of her illness in many ways she is no longer here.

 I know that I am still fortunate that there are parts of her that exist and this is so much better than the alternative. I can still squeeze her hand and I can still hear her as she whispers in my ear that she loves me.

In January my son and future daughter-in-law will be visiting her. I look forward to seeing, if only for a moment, mom's excitement. It does not really matter how much mom can understand, as long as we can all celebrate, once again, this wonderful occasion.

MY MOM MY HERO. With over 175 Great Reviews.

Thursday, September 4, 2014



My mom has opened my heart to a world filled with love & compassion. After she became ill she  blossomed into this beautiful flower with a breath of fresh air.

Although I can no longer speak to my mom every day, I awake each morning thinking of her smile and how she maneuvers around the nursing home sharing words of love.

She has become like a Buddha as she spreads joy to the aides, nurses and some of the other residents who also have Alzheimer's.

As upsetting as this disease can be it also fascinates me. I have watched as it has crept into my mother's life, removing what once existed in her universe.  Now I watch as she retreats into a "new"world.

I cannot help but wonder how Alzheimer's destroys some cells quicker than others, and why some people have it for years, while others succumb to it so quickly?

What magical quality does the sound of music have to those who have this disease? I have witnessed as they come to life when they hear the melodies . I have watched when my mother interacts with those who no longer speak and I see how they look at her as they utter several words.

 What makes some of their memories come to the surface while others disappear? Why does my mom think her home is with her parents? Does she go back to a time and place when she felt safe and secure? Does the world she now lives in frighten her, only wanting to return to her childhood home?

Do we think that in some ways our loved ones no longer exist and that they cannot hear our voices? Do we stop trying to communicate to them? For me I do believe that they do not disappear. I believe that even when we may think so that they are still listening.

With all of this being said, then how can we deal with our loved ones who now suffer from Alzheimer's? Can we, as caregivers, understand that maybe all they want is to be loved?

This is what people with Alzheimer's have demonstrated to me. They are no different than all of us for they have taught me about the power of love. They, as well as my mom, have shown me that love is all that matters.

MY MOM MY HERO is for all the special people in your lives. Over 150 great reviews.

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Tuesday, September 2, 2014



My brother and his wife while visiting my mother found her speaking to her "friend." They were able to capture this special moment which truly shows us how two people with Alzheimer's can connect. We as a family did not feel that my mother anymore was capable of this.

This is a touching video that shows us the intimacy two "friends" can have. While they held hands, my mother shared with Margaret how her daughter(me)did not come to visit her. From what I have just witnessed I am able to understand a little better.

MY MOM MY HERO is for all the special people in your lives. Over 150 great reviews.

Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.