Thursday, May 30, 2013



 In this picture my mom was so young and appeared carefree. Her life looked promising and she would get married at an early age and give birth to two children. A boy and a girl. The girl was me. This was many years ago. Perhaps it would feel like a lifetime ago to her, only if she could remember. Yet to my mom she has no memory or recollection of any of this.

I just returned from being in Italy for two weeks, and for the first time in over eight years I had not spoken to my mother each and every day. My early morning phone calls came to a cease. Today on my first day back, I will be shortly phoning her.

Will mom know that I have not called ? Will she have any realization of this? I highly doubt it ,yet I can hope and dream that maybe she will say that she missed speaking to me each day.

I realize in her world that she does not know the difference. Hearing my voice and all the sentiments that I share with each phone call, hoping that I bring her joy, are all forgotten the moment our calls come to a finale. It makes me stop and wonder what is the meaning of life, of being alive.

I explain to mom why I haven't called, as if she would understand. I suppose it was my own guilt and ask her if she remembers how very much I love her. She answers that she does. I reassure her that as long as she can remember that, then that is all that matters. She quickly agrees and hopefully understands, even if it's only for the moment .

On my parents twenty fifth anniversary, which was many moons ago, my brother and I sent them on a trip to Rome, Italy. My dad passed away eighteen years ago and mom married him at the young age of eighteen. I remembered how meaningful that trip was for my parents, and how much my mother had adored Italy.

Today, my mom has no idea of ever being in Italy, or seeing any of the treasures of the great city of Rome. It makes me wonder if this is what living is about? A life totally washed away lost out to sea as if it never existed. Her mind has become almost a blank canvas. I wonder how Alzheimer's can rob her of her life, and everything that she had once cherished.

 Mom gets to breathe the air each day and this is a miracle, one that I do not take for granted. One that I feel grateful for, yet I cannot help wondering what her life is about. She still does have some awareness, and it's the little things that I must be thankful for.

 I  so wish that I could have shared with her all the beauty that I saw in Italy, yet life is not always how we would like it to be. I now can only hope that for me, the memories of my trip shall remain.

My Mom My Hero is my book dedicated to the all the special people in our lives. A book that you will cherish. A story of love and relationships. The reviews say "A must read." Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.

Friday, May 10, 2013



With another Mother’s Day approaching I can only feel blessed that my mom is still alive and still able to know who I am. For me each day begins with phoning her, because I am a long distance caregiver. I look forward to hearing on a good day the tenderness of her voice. Just the other day I asked  if she wanted to speak to me. Her sweet reply was, of course she wanted to speak to me, “ for I am her daughter and she loves me very much.” As she shared these sentiments with me, it brought such warmth to my heart and filled my eyes with tears.

My relationship with my mom was not always like this. It wasn’t until mom became ill with
Alzheimer’s that I felt such a deep unconditional love for her. Somehow my love for her was transformed. I wonder what had changed, was it me, was it mom or perhaps both of us?

Why did it take her getting sick for me to fall in love with her, and to be able to cherish every word  that she speaks to me? I realize that this no longer makes any difference and all that matters to me is that I choose to celebrate my mom, her life and who she is. I am grateful for what we are still able to share, and do not hold on to what has vanished from her life.

The person my mother has become has opened for me a world filled with love and compassion. My mom who, is eighty-eight years old and stands less than five feet tall, has taught me another lesson in life. Lessons that as a teenager or young adult I was not able to totally understand. She has taught me the true meaning of loving a mother. She has inspired me to see the world from a different place and has opened my eyes to embrace a deeper sense of gratitude.

Her strength and courage continue to inspire me each and every day for the last eight years. Today, and all year long, I will be celebrating Mother’s Day. I know deep in my heart  how  my mother has become my hero. No matter what day it is, Mother’s Day or not, I will honor and cherish her and our loving relationship.

I would also like to honor all of the other mother's and wish them a happy Mother's Day.

For every daughter and her mother My Mom My Hero is a book dedicated to the all the special people in our lives. A book that you will cherish. A story of love and relationships. The reviews say "A must read." Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.