WHAT IS LIFE ?
In this picture my mom was so young and appeared carefree. Her life looked promising and she would get married at an early age and give birth to two children. A boy and a girl. The girl was me. This was many years ago. Perhaps it would feel like a lifetime ago to her, only if she could remember. Yet to my mom she has no memory or recollection of any of this.
I just returned from being in Italy for two weeks, and for the first time in over eight years I had not spoken to my mother each and every day. My early morning phone calls came to a cease. Today on my first day back, I will be shortly phoning her.
Will mom know that I have not called ? Will she have any realization of this? I highly doubt it ,yet I can hope and dream that maybe she will say that she missed speaking to me each day.
I realize in her world that she does not know the difference. Hearing my voice and all the sentiments that I share with each phone call, hoping that I bring her joy, are all forgotten the moment our calls come to a finale. It makes me stop and wonder what is the meaning of life, of being alive.
I explain to mom why I haven't called, as if she would understand. I suppose it was my own guilt and ask her if she remembers how very much I love her. She answers that she does. I reassure her that as long as she can remember that, then that is all that matters. She quickly agrees and hopefully understands, even if it's only for the moment .
On my parents twenty fifth anniversary, which was many moons ago, my brother and I sent them on a trip to Rome, Italy. My dad passed away eighteen years ago and mom married him at the young age of eighteen. I remembered how meaningful that trip was for my parents, and how much my mother had adored Italy.
Today, my mom has no idea of ever being in Italy, or seeing any of the treasures of the great city of Rome. It makes me wonder if this is what living is about? A life totally washed away lost out to sea as if it never existed. Her mind has become almost a blank canvas. I wonder how Alzheimer's can rob her of her life, and everything that she had once cherished.
Mom gets to breathe the air each day and this is a miracle, one that I do not take for granted. One that I feel grateful for, yet I cannot help wondering what her life is about. She still does have some awareness, and it's the little things that I must be thankful for.
I so wish that I could have shared with her all the beauty that I saw in Italy, yet life is not always how we would like it to be. I now can only hope that for me, the memories of my trip shall remain.
My Mom My Hero is my book dedicated to the all the special people in our lives. A book that you will cherish. A story of love and relationships. The reviews say "A must read." Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.