Thursday, October 23, 2014



This is mom 24 years ago. A lot has changed since then. My dad is deceased for 20 years and my son Logan is now 26 years old. Mom lives in a nursing home and we recently celebrated her 90th birthday. Except for Alzheimer's and macular degeneration she takes no medication and is in perfect health.

My family has lots to celebrate and be thankful for. There is one question that I frequently am asked which is "how is your mom doing?" I often answer,"my mom is doing good considering that she has Alzheimer's for the last ten years."

Several weeks ago I stopped to really think about how I just answered this question. My thoughts traveled to thinking about mom, a lady who has no idea about where she is living, or what she just ate.

She does not know that she should get dressed each day,and better yet. she does not have to wonder about what to wear.

She's doing good even if she is not aware of what day it is, the month, nor the year. She has no idea what  has transpired in the world. She has no fear of Ebola or terrorism.

She does not understand that her only grandchild has become engaged. In fact she does not really remember that she has a grandchild.

She no longer needs to think about what friend she might like to spend the day with, or what movie she would like to go see.  She no longer has to make any decisions on whether she'd like to take a walk in the park, stroll on the beach, or go to her favorite museum.

She does not remember that she was married for 50 years to my father, nor does not remember giving birth to her two children or, at moments, even that she has any.

Yes mom is doing good and she never has to decide on where she'd like to go on vacation or what country she'd like to travel to.  Life for her has certainly become "carefree".

So my answer to this question "how is your mom doing?" It will remain the same, for considering what is left in mom's world at least I can believe that she is happy. Happy for she is not aware of a world that exists outside of the four walls that she now resides in.

Mom has no understanding of how her life has been wiped away by such a horrible disease. So how is my mom doing? She'd doing good, and how am I doing? I'm also doing good, which is a conscious choice that I have made.

I can be happy or I can be sad. I choose to be happy. Happy that mom is not aware of what is happening to her.

MY MOM MY HERO Book with over 180 Great Reviews.
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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Special Interview I'd Like to Share With You

This is a special 20 minute interview that I would like to share with you. It will also have you meet me(sort of in person). You have in some ways all become my family as I share my journey with you about my mom and our relationship.

Here is the link. Hope you enjoy it !

Hugs to all,

Wednesday, October 15, 2014



One of mom's nurse's mentioned that when mom is lucid she will ask where I am and say that her daughter Lisa does not come to see her. She also says this of my brother (which makes me feel less guilty). Even if I had just visited mom she would not remember and would be repeating the same thing.

While I was speaking to the nurse mom happened to stroll by in her Merry Walker. The nurse put me on speaker phone so I was able to hear the conversation . "Ruthie how are you doing today?" Mom answered quickly that she was" good." "Would you like to speak to your daughter Lisa, who is now on the phone?" She answered "no not really I'm too sleepy," as she continued on her way.

The conversation made me giggle, yet it could not stop me from wondering, was mom really not wanting to speak to me or was she too tired? Did she really even understand that I was on the phone? Does she even know what a telephone is? She answered as if she understood, so why would she not want to speak to me? Luckily I did not feel slighted.

As Alzheimer's progresses mom's conversations have mostly disappeared. She can still speak and has moments where she is so sharp with her responses. Yet she is not able to concentrate enough to keep any conversation going because she cannot remember what someone just said.

I believe that there are moments when she is aware and wondering about everything, from where she is living to what is happening to her. Unfortunately her thoughts disappear so quickly that we can never know what she is thinking.

I miss mom terribly although I do get to watch her on videos that my brother recorded when I visited her. They have become so dear to my heart for they are the closest I have to being with her, even if my mom at moments is wondering where her little girl is .

MY MOM MY HERO. Follow our journey through the eyes of love. With over 175 Great Reviews. Available as EBook, Audio Book & Paperback.

Thursday, October 2, 2014



I cannot imagine what it must be like to lose all of my life's memories and to no longer recognize my loved ones. How could I ever not remember my husband, giving birth to our son, his first day of school, my senior prom and all the other things that I have treasured in the world?

This is the very way that Alzheimer's invades ones soul. My family has been affected by this awful disease for quite a few years. My mom has it for ten years and her younger brother lost his life after three years of suffering from it. I often wonder why some family
members get Alzheimer's and others are spared?

For the last several months it has become more difficult being a long distance caregiver. A feeling of loss gradually started when I was no longer able to speak to mom on the phone each day. After she was moved into the nursing home she seemed more and more agitated and confused to be on the telephone. I decided that it was better not to disturb her and no longer asked the nurses to get her.

My brother had not been able to see mom for almost four weeks now. First he was ill and in the hospital, and then he left Florida for a two week planned vacation. I was not at all upset with him, I just felt troubled knowing that this was the situation. Who was now watching over our mother?

When I became aware of this I immediately phoned the head of nursing to ask her to please give mom an extra hug from me and to look after her. She replied that mom was doing really well, gained 2lbs. and that as usual she was busy running around in her Merry Walker.

Mom no longer realizes if the sun is shining or if the sky is dark and filled with clouds. She does not know if today is her birthday, or better yet mine. I know that my mom had no idea that she did not have any family visiting, yet I knew and I could not help feeling saddened because of it.

I sometimes feel as if mom is just locked away, locked away from life and from the world, as she lives somewhere inside her "own" private universe. Yes, mom is still alive it's just different now for all of us and I also must adjust as her disease progresses.

It's funny because my brother returned home yesterday and I awoke this morning realizing that last night I had a dream about her; Mom still had the disease yet she seemed content as she was surrounded by some friends. I cannot recall my dream specifically, yet I was left with a "magical" warm feeling. It was the first time in quite a while that I felt mom was safe again.

My next visit is not for twelve weeks yet this is a very special trip for I will be going to spend an entire month with her. It excites and frightens me all at the very same time.

As for now I just want to try and imagine a world one day free of this disease. Today this may be just a dream, yet one day a true reality. How wonderful it would be if all of our children and their children can live in a world free of Alzheimer's.

MY MOM MY HERO. Follow our journey through the eyes of love. With over 175 Great Reviews. Available as EBook, Audio Book & Paperback.