A DEEP & PURE LOVE
Many moons ago my mom's world was sunny and bright. It was filled with excitement, love and joy. She had no idea that one day her entire life would vanish, as if it never existed. Truth be told, neither did I, for I had never heard of Alzheimer's.
Even into her later years mom yearned to continue learning. Her passion for knowledge was important to her. She loved to read and through reading, and taking college courses, she continued to stimulate herself.
Today because of this dreadful disease almost everything she learned has disappeared. She has been robbed, even more, by having the memory of her entire life swept away as if it never existed.
My brother just returned to Florida after visiting me in New York. As he was here I continued to place my daily calls to the nursing home. With each call I reminded the nurses that my mother would not be having any family visitors for the next two weeks. I was aware of her being all alone that somehow I was trying to protect her. Yet in her world I'm sure she did not even realize this.
This realization had me wondering about all the other people who live in a nursing home (especially those with Alzheimer's) and have no family or friends to visit them. Perhaps they are "locked away" without any key to free them from this awful world they now live in. It is a world entwined and disguised as one.
Although the facility that my mom now lives in has no fancy hallways, activity rooms or bedrooms, the nurses and aides all seem happy. When I think of the kindness and care that my mother is receiving I feel some sense of security and know this is what is most important.
My heart could easily break in two, if I allowed myself to think how my mom just wanders the hallways alone each day. She seems to be mesmerized, lost in her world not knowing where to go and what to do.
I realize I am fortunate that my mom is still alive. The love I feel for her is deep and pure, a bond that can never be broken. Each day I lose my mother a little more, yet each day I also get to love her some more.
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