COMING HOME
Frank Sinatra sang about his home town New York City, and for my mom and dad this was their home where they were born and raised. My parents left and moved to Florida in 1987 just before my son Logan was born. I have tried since my mom has been ill, to move her back to her home town. Mom's answers have always remained the same.
My mom seems to have bounced back to where she was, before her two frightening episodes of hallucination( which was caused by a UTI infection). This episode landed my mom in the hospital two times just a few weeks ago. I'm absolutely thrilled, knowing how good she is now doing, and I also know that it is temporary. Maybe we'll be lucky and maybe mom will stay how she is for a while . This is all one BIG maybe.
Anyway several days ago when my mom expressed how she missed me and wanted to know when I would be coming to visit . I surprised her with "mom why don't you come and visit me in New York".
I know that this is impossible for her to take this trip, yet mom answered with a "maybe". "Great mom we can go to the Empire State building" which at that moment I really believed that my mom had remembered this landmark. Ruthie replied with "I don't know, it's very high". "Okay mom instead we can enjoy a boat ride around Manhattan" which mom laughed about.
Yes, my mom will be coming back to the city sooner than later. For I want to be near her, and so when she does return ,she will be moving into a nursing home. One that is close to my home so I can visit with her several times a week, and take care of my mom, the way many years ago she took care of me.
Two Years Ago:
Elaine had suggested to me that instead of Logan and I coming to Florida in 2010 to visit my mom, perhaps she should bring my mom to New York. My initial reaction was one of excitement,” oh great I could take her out to some of her favorite places”, only to follow immediately with reality. That would not have worked at all. The summer in 2009 when my mom came to visit with my brother she became more disoriented and even though my husband, my son and I were all with her it was extremely hard on all of us, especially my mom. I am now living in a new home; one my mom has never stayed at. I told Elaine that it would be much better for Logan and I to go to mom’s home, a place that my mom felt safe in. My heart felt heavy knowing that my mom’s last trips to visit me or any other place were now all in the past. My mom would never see my new home, and if she did she would never remember it.
My mom ,my hero, I know that one day soon, I will be bringing you back home. Your home called New York City .
UTI's can definitely cause hallucinations. Does your mom also have LBD? It's a form of dementia that can make someone hallucinate. They can also have moments where they seem totally normal. I can relate to your feelings about your mom never being able to see your new home. My mom will never see mine either. Her home, the home we grew up in, was just sold a few months ago. It's sad that we will never step foot in our family home again. I hope you can bring your mom back home to NYC and you can visit her as much as you want. You will feel so much better to have her close to you. If you get a chance, please read my blog about my mom and our journey with alzheimer's. ~ Lizzie www.wewerefive.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteLizzie thank you so much for sharing your story about your mom and your sisters. It is touching.
DeleteLisa/Mommyhero
Lisa, Its very touching to read your story, I can understand you. Best way to be with Dementia people is, to be in here and now situations. It makes things easier for everyone.
ReplyDeleteKalyani
While blog hopping during the early morning hours, I've discovered your story with your sweet mother.
ReplyDeleteI too, am traveling this Alzheimer's journey. My husband was diagnosed when he was 65.
I'll be following your story.
Thank you for your Story again ... I sometimes wonder, what would be, if I take my mom to the east of Germany, where she was born and newly is asking for all the time ...
ReplyDeleteIn September last year, we talk her to the seaside of netherland ... she liked the ocean and the wind ... and suddenly she had a twinkel in her eyes ... she liked it and also to see the children playing in the sand ... we went there only for a day and we will never forget how happy she was for a moment ... one day later she didnt know it anymore, that we have been away for a ride to the seaside ...
the journey to the east of Germany, where she was born, would take a whole day and I am not sure, wheater she can bear it ... I am thinking about this since a few weeks and I don't know, how to decide right ...
but I could imagine, that it would be better for all, to be in her and now situations, like kalyani already mentioned it.
Its great to read, how deep the love to your mom is. Thank you. I wish you all the best. May god bless you all ... <3
Marion Reinartz
from Germany