Friday, November 16, 2012

DO I LIVE IN FLORIDA OR NEW YORK ?




DO I LIVE IN FLORIDA OR NEW YORK?

I'm thrilled that mom still is able to be aware of where she was born and where she once lived. On some days she is confused with which state is the correct one. Sometimes she is so confident that she resides in New York, and at other times she is aware that she now lives in Florida.

The confusion occurs on most days when she asks me when I am coming to visit. It is now seventeen days till my husband and I will arrive at mom's doorstep. She always want to know why I cannot come sooner. My answers are always the same. So at those moments when she questions my timetable, it is also when she might insist that she lives in New York. She wonders how long it will take for me to come over. My answer is that it depends on how I travel ; "by plane 3 1/2 hours and driving at least 2 days." "Wow," mom says, as if she understands.

I shared with her that my husband will be joining me on my visit. Mom really let out quite a chuckle, and when I questioned what was so funny, she responded that she didn't know, except that she found it rather funny. It didn't matter just hearing the sounds of her laughter thrilled me.

 Before ending our daily phone call I requested from her to throw me my precious kisses. I shared that when I arrived, I would be able to place my "real" kisses right on her cheek. "Great", mom exploded with enthusiasm ,"I can hardly wait."

As we practice her counting abilities, I have been using the days till I arrive as a game. In the beginning of the week when I said that I would be coming in 3 weeks; and explained there are seven days in a week, she quickly said 7 x 3 is twenty one. It was astonishing to me that she was able to do the mathematics in her head and so quickly. So why can she spell, count and add numbers, yet she cannot remember what she did seconds before, or what she just ate?

I have noticed that as my trip gets closer that I have been feeling a bit more sentimental as we speak
about our love for one another. As mom has expressed to me how much she misses me and really does love me, I get teary eyed, as I return all my love to her.  I'm not sure why I feel this way, except I realized how very much I do miss her.

 I wish that we lived closer to one another, and wish that I could use a magic wand, and have her Alzheimer's simply disappear. I know this is not reality, yet I sure can dream.  It's amazing how the words of love that we now can share, were hardly present before she became ill.

Living in two different states, one in New York and one in Florida, may keep us apart, yet our closeness and intimate love, I know will always remain close to both of our hearts.




1 comment:

  1. I have taken care of my mom for over taken years withhout living with her. I am the one that lead to her being diagoses with FTD. Now she is a board and care, and I have sold her house to pay for her care.

    When I see her she is cranky, and confused and tells me to shut up when are at her doctors appointment. She does not know there is anything wrong with her.

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