Friday, August 2, 2013

A NEVER ENDING LOVE


A NEVER ENDING LOVE


Last week mom was having another episode with a urinary tract infection, better known as a U.T.I.  It seems as if every 2 weeks the infection has been recurring. I have become a pro at recognizing the symptoms almost instantly. It's as simple as my mom mentioning that she is having some back pains along with her not wanting to end our phone calls.

At most other times she is not capable of having any lengthy conversations. Recently, she has trouble connecting her words with her thoughts. I usually can distinguish what she is trying to say, although she has trouble expressing it.

Last week as the infection developed we had a more lengthy uplifting phone call. She was able to express all the love she felt for me and how much she missed me.  As our call came to an end tears of joy fell from my eyes.

At the moment she called me her sweet ,beautiful daughter my heart melted. Mom's voice sounded so gentle as she spoke these loving words. Everything seemed to connect in all the right places ,as if her Alzheimer's has disappeared.

There are so many things about this disease that fascinate me, that with this behavior it just adds to the list. Why when the U.T.I. starts is mom able to continuously speak making sense and sharing
past memories. She becomes animated and thrilled as she reminiscence's about these images and the thoughts that are so real to her. How can this infection effect her  and have her bounce back to life?

I was overjoyed with these calls until I realized that this was the beginning of the infection. The U.T.I. would then cause her to be up all night and wander around her apartment as if she had just swallowed speed.  After this for the next several days out of total exhaustion, all she wanted to do was sleep.

These conversations that once had me rejoice, now have me saying "oh no, here we go again." Unfortunately, all I am left with is an yearning for these more fullfilling moments.

The words of love that we are now able to share with one another were not always present. Life can be strange for after mom became ill, my love for her tranformed into an unconditional one.

I wish that I could remove this disease from her, yet we know this is impossible. Instead, I hold onto a love for her that is never ending. A love and respect for this special lady who today has become my hero.


My Mom My Hero Book is for the special people we love in our lives.
#1 on Amazon Best Seller's in Memoirs (June 2013) fr/e books
Available on Amazon & Kindle worldwide.


 

11 comments:

  1. Love this! Going thur this with my 92 yr. old Mom.

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    1. How I surely know that we are in this together. xoxo
      Lisa

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  2. I'm so grateful I found your blog through Facebook! Keep up the great work, and know you are not alone. I have round the clock caregivers for my mom (88, with heart problems) and Dad (91, with ALZ and Sundowner's). Every day I wish I could be there to help them, as we live 500 miles away and are sandwiched with children and grandchildren. I've reminded myself that the Lord is our helper, and that I don't want to have any regrets -- so I visit for a week or two every 6-8 weeks. But the guilt still sets in! Blessings to you, and I'm thankful for your sharing here!

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    1. Jane and I am so glad that you wrote me. I say to my husband that I know how much he care's about me & mom except that he cannot really understand. Jane I know that you and I are so connected from what we are both going through, including being a long distance caregiver. I wrote a great post a few weeks ago. If you have not seen it try to read it when you get a chance. I think you'd really appreciate my sentiments. Hugs, Lisa

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    2. Prevention of Alzheimers'...

      http://www.jneurosci.org/content/25/8/1904.full

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  3. oh gosh this is brilliant... going through this with my mum now. had her living with us now for over a year & half. I hate this disease... & them u.t.i. blimey, she is awake all night though she has gone to bed tired.. sometimes argumentative with it.. & then you sometimes get a glimpse of the Mum you know & love.. though not for long..

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    1. Hanka just know that it's nit your mum but this horrific disease acting out. Love her for what ever you have left . I admire you so much for having her live with you. I can only imagine how difficult this must be on you & your family. You are so special for doing this. Please just make sure that you can also take care of yourself. That is very important. xoxo Lisa

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  4. Your Mom just sounds like my Mom.She gets UTI all the time.And she is complaining with her back hurting,but for my Mom she gets so mean and hateful and sometimes tries to hurt herself.They told us in May 2012 she had Alzheimers and dementia and I hate what it has done to her.Watching her everyday live with this is heartbreaking.They say there stages and I have no clue what stage she is in.Me and my Dad are her caregivers she is 76 years old and most of the time she does not know me or my Dad.God Bless you for sharing this,sometimes you feel so alone like your in your own little world.Me Dad and Mom.

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    1. Anonymous first I want to send some big strong hugs and support to you and your dad. It must be very difficult for both of you. My dad passed away 18 years ago and honestly I am relieved that he is not here to see my mom, his wife and best friend disappearing.My heart goes out to you and all of us that are living with this dreadful disease. Lisa

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  5. Such a beautiful picture of you and your mom and such a heartfelt post.
    Thank you, Lisa. xx

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    1. and I thank you for your warm sincere words.

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