A BOND NEVER TO BE BROKEN
It feels like ages since I was with my mom, yet it was only two months ago. At moments I am able to reflect back on my visit, and feel the warmth of her smile. Now that my next trip is approaching in three weeks, I am starting to feel excited . I yearn to see her , my heart hungers to spend time with her.
Observing her in these new surroundings does upset me, although I know that this is the best place for her. The above picture was mom and I sitting together exchanging touches and smiles. I was in deep thought of what once was, and maybe mom was reminiscing. When expressing myself to her she was able to follow along. My words and thoughts had to be short and not too complicated. Story telling is gone, for in her world, she is not able to concentrate.
While phoning the nursing home each day when I get lucky I am able to speak to her for a few seconds. Usually my calls end briefly as mom just drops the phone. One day she told me that she had to get off the phone because she was very busy. "Okay mom",smiling about her response. Mom was too busy to chat with me, as she hurried off the phone, to either do nothing or to wander the halls of the nursing facility.
Sharing this with my husband, he explained that she is probably distracted when they bring her to the phone. I know in reality that she would rather be speaking to me then roaming the hallways. Alzheimer's has removed any sort of reasoning from her. The world she lives in makes no sense, certainly not to me.
As she walks the corridors what is she looking for? Or maybe better, why is she wandering all over ? What possibly can she be thinking ? Is she bored, or perhaps looking for a passageway to plan her escape? Maybe she is just strolling down "memory lane".
Today, I look forward and count the days until I see her, wanting to embrace her , hold her hand and share all my love for her. When people ask me if she still knows me, I am able to smile and answer "of course she does, she is my mother and I am her daughter." For this I am so grateful..
We share a love so strong and a bond that can never be broken. As always, I cherish these days taking nothing for granted, knowing that one day they will come to an end.
My Mom My Hero book is for all the special people in our lives.
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