Last night I awoke from a dream that I only wanted to return to. I desperately tried and yet I could not slide back into it. This dream touched me in such a deep loving way and left me feeling a passion for seeing my parents reuniting. In my dream my father came to visit my mother and I saw him gazing at her with deep love and affection. He mystically returned, yet I do not know from where. Mom was thrilled to see him and at that moment her Alzheimer's seemed to all but disappear. She was in her glory.
I then turned to my father and spoke these words, "Mommy is doing so good since you came back," and at that very moment my eyes opened from my dream. I knew none of this could be true for my father passed away eighteen years ago. It is so rare that I ever dream of either of them. Yet this dream left me lying in bed with a strong feeling of peacefulness and warmth. It also left me with sentimental memories of my childhood.
When I awoke in the morning I felt all my love emanating from my soul for my parents. A yearning to be a child again and wanting to feel the security in both their arms. Later that morning after I had spoken to my mother I was left with an overwhelming saddness. When I phoned, I heard her question Trudy her cargiver, who Lisa was. Trudy, answered "your daughter." I shared with her that she was my mother and that she was the one who had given me my birth name, of Elissa Robin . Mom then said, "that is a very beautiful name."
I found that what I was left with was to reflect on my childhood, my parents and thinking of my own mortality. As the day moved on I felt myself feeling lighter and once again, I was able to be grateful for all the love that my mom and I still can share. My childhood was many moons ago and fortunately for me, my life has continously moved on.
I am so aware of savoring these special times with her, and it is so important for me to live in the moment. I recently heard a quote from Mother Theresa that I just loved,"we cannot do great things, we can do little things with great love." And to this, I say Amen!