MOM WHOSE HAND ARE YOU HOLDING?
"Mom the hand you are holding is that of your one and only grandchild." I can remember all the time you spent with Logan watching his favorite tv shows and movies. It's funny how I can still hear the two of you laughing while. Sometimes I'd wonder how you could sit and see the same movie over and over again. Yet that is what a loving grandmother would do for her one and only grandchild.
You no longer know who my son is nor do you understand that in six weeks he will be getting married. You met his beautiful bride-to-be in January as she came to Florida especially to meet you. "I know mom that you would be so proud of Logan, the man he has become, and would feel affection for the woman he has chosen to spend his life with."
When I think of all that you have been robbed of, I must confess it brings sadness to my heart. Alzheimer's is one of the most devastating diseases. It has the power to invade one's life and wash away a world full of memories.
Some people realize that every day is a gift and for me I hold onto each and every moment that I still can remember. I may never get Alzheimer's, yet one might say that I have a higher possibility since it runs in my family. First, your younger brother, and then you.
I know that going to sleep is final and realize that I would never be able to hear your voice, see your smile or hold your hand again. I question what is better. Being alive, locked away in your own world without any knowledge of your family or existence? Yes you seem to "be happy" or should I say "content". I wonder what thoughts, if any, may cross your mind only to disappear as quickly as they come.
I believe in my heart that you would not want to be alive if you truly understood about the world you now live in. For me if my world becomes like yours, I would not want to keep on living. So with much love how could I not wish for you, what I too would wish for myself.
When Logan and Julia get married at the end of September, I will be thinking of you knowing how full of happiness and pride you would have been. I promise to have you with us, if only in spirit, to celebrate this glorious occasion. I love you mom today and forever.
MY MOM MY HERO book is dedicated to my mother and yours.
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