Wednesday, August 3, 2016

ALZHEIMER'S-MY MOM I LOVE HER SO


ALZHEIMER'S- MY MOM I LOVE HER SO


One evening, several weeks ago, I received a call from the nursing home where my mom has lived for the past three years. One can imagine the uncertainty I felt when I answered the phone.

Immediately the nurse said "everything's okay I just need to tell you that your mom was unresponsive today.” As I heard the word "unresponsive" my heart sank. I asked many questions as she proceeded to explain what had transpired.

My husband said as he looked at me that I appeared to have lost all the color in my face. His first thought was that mom had passed away until he heard me repeating what the nurse was saying.

I did not sleep soundly that night fearful that I would get a call that mom had passed away. The next morning my brother rushed to the nursing home where tests were already being performed.

Mom's unresponsiveness only lasted for a few moments, yet it was something that was new and felt quite scary. The blood results found that mom (93 years in August), in several ways, scored like a 40 year old. Her constitution is amazing, she is on no medication and, except for Alzheimer's and macular degeneration and she is the picture of health.

The next day I booked a plane to go and see her. Before leaving I called several times each day to make sure that she was doing okay. Each time I was told that she was running around in her Merry Walker. Mom bounced back rather quickly and I was happy that I was going to see her, even if it was just for three days.

After returning home my body felt stressed and my heart ached as if I was going through withdrawal. I missed seeing her and could not stop thinking about her. Again I kept phoning the nursing home to see how she was doing. Mom was doing fine, it was me who needed to "mend".

I kept thinking is she looking for me? Does she wonder where I am? Is she missing holding my hand, singing songs, or our silly conversations? Does she yearn to see me like a teenage girl, or am I in this all by myself? Is my heart hurting alone or can she also feel the pain?

I write as if she is my lover. No, she's my mother, yet I love her in so many similar ways. I know the answers to all these questions for the second I am no longer in her sight, she does not know that I was even there. In fact, when I am with her, she does not always know that I am her daughter.

None of this matters for in my heart and I deeply believe that in hers, we share a bond that only a mother and daughter could feel.



MY MOM MY HERO - A mother & daughters new found love. http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Hero-Alzheimers--daughters-bittersweet/dp/0615773982/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454248406&sr=8-1&keywords=lisa+hirsch



 

4 comments:

  1. so beautiful and a tribute to your Mom. I believe they feel & know our presence in some mysterious way. we do not understand all but in our deepest places we know that our hearts are together.

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    1. Tom I love how you have described that "our hearts are together." Thanks for taking the time to share with me.

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  2. Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your blessings. It means a lot.

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