Monday, March 27, 2017

ROLLER COASTER RIDE


ROLLER COASTER RIDE

Since mom became quite ill during my visit in January I have been affected in many way. Just watching her disappear from Alzheimer's for the last fourteen years had been grueling enough. I had to accept that her world was climaxing and could end rather quickly.

Even though I have prepared myself, I realize that when the time comes I will be in mourning for the loss of my mother. She will become just another statistic and I will be parentless like so many others my age.

People often ask if I fear that I will get Alzheimer's. My answer is always the same. I do not fear it, although I am aware, when I cannot remember something as simple as an actor's name. Not only does my mother have Alzheimer's her younger brother also had it and passed away within a few years. I recognize that my chances are greater than someone else whose family has no history of this disease.

Amazingly enough mom's "world", if only, for the moment has changed. Changed in a way that I was not ready for, nor, maybe I didn't really wish to happen. She seems to have bounced back with a reborn energy. Her nurse reassured me that mom was once again back to "herself", feisty, eating well and maybe even better than before. My immediate reaction was feeling elated yet mixed with some sense of reality. I went so far as to fantasize that mom who is 92 years old might now live to 100.

My heart previously had been telling me that mom had given up. Once again she has proved me wrong! Or should I say knowing all too well, that this "rebirth" may only last for a day, month, or year until mom can no longer go on.

While I am on this whirlwind I cannot help but feel the bumps and curves as Alzheimer's continues to speed along its tracks. There are so many times I wish for this ride to come to an end.

Why am I not fully able to go with the flow? Am I not prepared for this roller coaster ride? I know that I am not being a pessimist. Could it be that I am just being a realist? How silly of me for how could I not want  mom to have "good "days. Of course I do. For some, this may seem like a miracle yet anyone who understands this disease knows that it cannot last.

In the world of dementia the patient does not get to win. There is no cure.



 MY MOM MY HERO - A mother & daughters new found love. http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Hero-Alzheimers--daughters-bittersweet/dp/0615773982/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454248406&sr=8-1&keywords=lisa+hirsch

5 comments:

  1. Lisa, I was very sorry to read your blog after your last visit and when you hadn't posted in a while I feared the worst.
    Our experiences are so similar it is amazing. I've been on this emotional roller coaster for the past 5 years.
    My 94 year old mom became very ill in December with a respiratory infection. She was in and out of consciousness and couldn't speak for nearly 2 weeks. When we saw her at Christmas we thought she was close to "the end". A week later she bounced back and she's been doing well ever since (knocking wood). Of course I know this can't last "forever", hoping she stays this way at least through Mother's Day when I'll be with her again.
    Hugs to you. ~Barb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barb, I have been writing my blog just less frequent. As I just read what you wrote me I got chills up and down my body. We were going through almost the same exact thing almost at the very exact time. Yes my mom is 2 years younger yet .....xoxo

      Delete
  2. Lisa, as you know, I went through it with both parents, so my odds are strong that my kids will have to deal with a demented me. Remember that people don't die from Alzheimers; they die from heart disease, infections etc. Your mother is a very tough lady, and so are you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sweet dearest friend. Please don't ever think that way. Wipe those thoughts forever from you mind.

      Delete
  3. For those people whose relative are suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease and maybe reading this, I find it hard that people are still ignorant of herbal medicine when it comes to treating Alzheimer’s Disease.
    I have been through many phases over the last couple of years since my father's diagnosis, he was 53 years old and had Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease and his diagnosis changed my life in many ways, I spend most of the time in denial and I keep thinking the tests were wrong. But deep down I knew they were correct. Though sharing his story is very difficult. He was always very successful in being able to accomplish anything he set his mind on doing. Alzheimer’s is a bitch of a disease. It began by robbing his recent memory, but it didn't stop there. It continues to steal, taking the most recent memories until it has pilfered all but the oldest memories, he experienced a decline in his ability to think, remember and make decisions. I feel a need to express my thoughts and feelings about how it affected his day to day living and how its deteriorated since despite the help of some wonderful medics and medicine.
    I remind myself how lucky to come across Charanjit rychtova's herbal medicine which is able to control this disease without any side effect, I felt a moment of relief hoping that he is free from this ailment, and nothing compares to the healing power of nature. Now I believe almost every health problem can be addressed in one natural way or another. The only thing I wanted was for him to feel better. I’m proud to say my Dad is Alzheimer’s free. You can also contact him for advice and more info. charantova@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete