Thursday, November 30, 2017



As a young child I cannot remember ever playing with my mom’s lipstick. Mom was so naturally pretty to me that I do not think she applied much makeup. One thing I remember quite vividly is how she always refreshed her lips. Even after having Alzheimer's for several years, it was always important for her to reapply her lipstick especially after eating.

This morning I awoke from a dream in which I shared a wonderful touching moment with my mother. As I laid awake and noticed that I could not recall every detail I recognized that the essence of my dream was surreal. How I craved to get back into my dream, yet it was not possible.


 I awaited the arrival of my husband to take me to the airport. I was running late and if he did not arrive shortly I stood a chance of missing my flight. I had no idea where I was heading to, yet I wanted to board the plane.

I realized that this was my last day of being with mom and as she stood in a bathroom looking into the mirror I saw all her makeup set up as it had once appeared in her home. I peeked through the door as mom was reaching towards her lipsticks.

Even in my dream I was aware that mom still had Alzheimer's. I felt so good that mom was able to do this which left me feeling reassured that she was having a good day. I smiled, as I watched over her.

This was a comforting dream, to see mom somewhat whole for Alzheimer's has robbed so much from her. It has taken almost everything away leaving only a blank canvas. A life that was once filled with dreams, family and friends, has all but vanished.

The simple task of reaching for her lipstick and putting it to her lips would have been a major accomplishment, which makes me realize, in an even more profound way, how devastating this disease is.

In some ways my dream signified to me how the act of putting on lipstick could prove to me that mom was still alive. Something as simple as this never would have crossed my mind, and certainly one, that I would have years ago taken for granted. 

Feeling uplifted I rushed to the phone to call the nursing home, only to hear, that mom was having a “good day".

As her daughter and caregiver I am extremely effected. As for mom, she remains in her “dreamlike” state never wondering why things are the way they are.

MY MOM MY HERO - A mother & daughters new found love.


  1. Until the "end" my father would carefully clean his lips with a napkin after eating. Dirt bothered him. He also ate very carefully with a spoon, for etc, not with his hands.