Tuesday, January 3, 2012



"Hi mom, I just wanted to wish you a Happy, Heatlhy New Year". Mom answered with "oh it's the New Year, what is the year"?  "Mom it's now 2012 and you were born in the year 1924 ."That was a very long time ago",mom replied.

I could see my mom's smile right through the telephone as she said " Lisa, it does not matter how long ago it was, as long as we all have our health and are happy that is all that matters". "Yes mom I totally agree"." Mom, in the New Year I plan to smother you with lots of love", and we both giggled.

The day before New Years I told my mom that it would be the New Year the following day. My mom said " please remind me because I will forget". "No problem mom, and mom I'd like to ask you a question. If today is 2011 what will the New Year be"?  Mom answered with, 2012. I was asking the question to see if my mom could still figure that out. "Oh great mom, I was just testing your intelligence",as I fooled around with her.  We both laughed and then Ruthie said "you know I am intelligent". "Okay mom can you spell intelligence"? Mom said "of course I can", as she rambled off the letters getting 97% correct.

I haven't been spelling that much with my mom lately, which was something that I use to have her do. I had hoped that it would stimulate her memory. My mom still spells most words correctly, which I feel is pretty good. I've been told that will probably be one of the last things my mom will be able to do before she gets worse(since in her youth and adulthood she read a great deal).

I also realized that I haven't been singing with her as frequently as I use to. I think that maybe I've gotten a little lazy, or is it that my mom no longer can have any conversations with me. Ruthie seems to rush me off the phone most days. Yet when I do start to sing she usually joins right in.

I asked mom if she has been dancing ,since my last trip visiting her( the first week of December). Mom said" not really" and after I asked her "why not"(?) Ruthie responded with that she had no one to dance with, and that she did not want to dance alone. "Well mom you could dance with some people at the clubhouse". My mom did not answer me for she no longer knew what the clubhouse was.

You see my mom's life exists just staying alone. She has become a prisoner in her home since she refuses to participate in anything. My brother and I and her caregivers have all tried to have her mingle with other people. Mom sadly has no interest to do anything. This is not her speaking , but her disease. My mom use to love to be with people and it has been several years since she has done that, so unfortunately she has become so inactive that it is quite difficult to get her to do anything. When we do take her out which we try most days, Ruthie does not want to leave her safe haven. As soon as we do get her out she only wants to return back home.

It use to upset me greatly and now I just seem to accept it. Would the socialization have helped my mom? I don't know, maybe?  What I do know is that through the years as I watch my mom get progressively worse, at least she has seemed happy. I have been thankful for this and only hope that through all the love I share each day with my mom that somewhere in her heart she still can feel/remember it. I have this yearning to just scoop her up and hold her tight. Yes my mom is still very much my hero and I love her so.

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