MOM WILL ALWAYS BE MY PRINCESS
On most days when I speak to my mom, we are unable to have any continuous conversations, so I find that I repeat many of the same things. I'll share with her about my day and what I might have done the day before. Thankfully we are still are able to laugh and have some fun. I can always tell from her voice how perky she is, and if she will want to stay on the phone with me, or rush me off. When I see how she is, I can quickly decide if we should have our spelling bee, or perhaps sing some songs. She usually enjoys engaging in either one.
For this I am still so fortunate. When she does answer me with something that makes absolutely no sense, I answer as if it did. You see I know as her disease progresses, that there will probably be a time, when my mom will no longer be able to speak.
Almost everyday when I do question her, she always has the very same answer. She will say that she cannot remember anything as I always chirp in, "mom do you remember how much I love you"? "Of course I do". Well mom, you see you do remember the important things". Yet this week, she took me by surprise when she spoke these words, "isn't that strange, I cannot remember anything". As if this was something brand new for her, that just took place. My mom who has Alzheimer's, for at least eight years, has not been able to remember anything for quite some time now.
She seemed to quickly change the subject and said "there are days we feel good and day's that we don't feel so good". "Yes, mom that is certainly true". As I tried to lighten the conversation, I then said "mom, are you a princess for the day"? Mom giggled and humorously replied "if I find a prince then I can be the princess". I smiled to myself, and thought how amazing it is, that in some ways she still can be so quick and sharp.
With all that is happening to her I never here her complain. I wonder at each moment, before she forgets what were her thoughts? Does she realize what is happening to her? Can she understand it all? Probably not, although I do think that as she has these fleeting moments she does understand. This will always remain a mystery to me. One that I will never know the answer to.
In some ways the tables have turned, and although Ruthie is still and forever my mom, there are moments when I visit her, that she seems to be like a child. So today and for always, my mom can and will remain for me, my one and only princess.
FACT- 5.4 Million Americans are living with Alzheimer's disease.
Wonderful 2 minute film. Please watch.