MY MAN I LOVED HIM SO
Today when I spoke to my mom I mentioned that it was my birthday in eight days. When I questioned her about what day I was born, and how old I would be, mom then said that she had no recollection of any of it. I whispered to her my age and with humor, she answered , "you're catching up to me". I giggled at her quick and witty response.
When I phoned mom and her caregiver Elaine, had just been watching a love story on the television . Elaine was so excited to she share with me what my mom had just finished saying. Mom said to her that the movie was a beautiful love story. She continued to tell her that she lost her husband a long time ago (seventeen years to be exact) and how much she really missed him. The next thing she said was that she'd do anything to have him back.
What my ears had just heard sent chills up and down my spine. Out of my sometimes fear ,to not cause my mom any unnecessary pain, I avoid bringing up my dad to her. At times when I have, my mom usually says that she cannot remember him.
No matter how many times I have heard this from her, I still find it amazing that to be married for fifty years and to have shared a family and lifetime together that she cannot recall any of it. How sad this truly is.
The saving grace for me, and of course my mom, is that I know deep in my heart, that whatever memories she just had of my dad, are now long forgotten. She could no longer feel any pain or sadness.
"Hi mom, I heard you just watched a movie that you liked a lot". Mom answered with "yes it was very good". What was it about"? I inquired. I then heard my mom ask Elaine to please tell me what the movie was about, for she could not remember.
The feelings of her remembering my dad was all but washed away. Something like a passing rain shower or even more, a rainbow that quickly fades away.
Mom and dad were married in 1942, when she had just turned eighteen years old. My dad was turning twenty one and soon to be shipping off with the Navy. They were married for fifty years, and now for my mom it seems to be a life that has been taken away. I wonder how such a disease can destroy a lifetime of memories.
Hopefully one day researchers in the medical field will be able to find a cure, so others will be able to hold onto the memories of their lives and all their loved ones.
So dad if mom could remember her most recent words, I'm sure she would say again, "my man I loved him so".