IMAGINE- A WORLD WITHOUT ALZHEIMER'S
Last Sunday I walked with my husband, my son and his girlfriend, as we joined 5000 other people in New York City, in the Walk to End Alzheimer's. As I approached the park my eyes seemed to swell, thinking about my mother.
I called her to say hello, and share with her, that I was walking in a park on a beautiful sunny day. I feared saying to her, that I was walking for Alzheimer's. I do not know if my mom knows what Alzheimer's is, or even that she has this disease, yet I could not bring myself to say the word. Regardless, mom was able to tell me in a cheerful voice to enjoy my walk, the park, as well as the rest of my day. As I hung up, I smiled thinking that she had just sounded like a woman, who did not have this disease.
She has been sounding remarkably good on our daily phone calls . The things that she has recently said, sounds as if she is at the moment reconnected . Instead of her saying that she cannot remember anything ,she has been expressing it so differently to me. She asked if I could remember what I just shared with her. She seemed to be defending herself, by stating that it was a very long time ago for her to be able to remember. When we spoke of other things she announced, that she just got a "mental block, or that it's right there on the tip of her tongue."
She seems to be reawakening. I heard her tell her caregiver Elaine, that she needed to loose some weight, since it was not good to be overweight. Elaine and I were intrigued by what she said just said. We were happy that she was aware and able to observe all of this. Just saying something as simple as this, brought smiles to our faces, as we giggled about what Ruthie had just expressed.
When I mentioned to her that my doctor's office measured me, and that my height now was, 5'3 1/2'' and I had shrunken from 5'4", she laughed and quickly said," don't be upset, you lost only a 1/2"." Her quick response left me with another smile and feeling lighthearted.
I found it interesting how she has reversed what I had said . Was she trying to transfer not remembering to me, as if it was a normal act in her life ? Can she be aware enough at this moment, to question me in reverse, as if to transfer her own feelings? All of this has left me wondering what could possibly be going on in her mind .
I guess I will never have an answer to this, and it will not make any difference. For me I want to take a few moments and try to "Imagine A World Without Alzheimer's." A world free of this dreadful disease. A world where our loved one's lives, cannot be stolen from them, as if they never existed.
Please join me in spreading awareness about Alzheimer's, so one day the world may be free of this horrific disease.