SHE REALLY MAKES ME SMILE
"Hi mom how are you"? "Lisa is that you"? "Yes mom it's your beautiful daughter calling her favorite mom to see how you are doing". "Lisa, when are you coming to see me"? "Mom( I fib) I'll be coming in four weeks". "Mom replied, "that's great because I really miss you".
I feel a pang in my heart because I know that I will not be returning to see my mom for several months. I can get away with this white lie, because Ruthie has no recollection of what I just said, and even more when I lasted visited . Actually my mom, cannot remember anything anymore. "Mom, I live too far away and I was just at your home six weeks ago". "I really do not remember", she answers, "it feels like a very long time ago".
"Well mom you do have a special person coming to visit you today". "Who"? she askes. "Your son Gil is coming to visit with his girlfriend". Mom tweets in with "Gil has a girlfriend"? Yes mom and we both met her when I visited six weeks ago. "What is his girlfriends name"? "Her name in Rochelle and she's very nice". I then mention to her that they will be coming with their two dogs. "Why"? "Mom,because the dogs want to visit you also". "Please be careful that you do not step on them". We both find this quite funny and start to giggle.
"Mom would you like to come and visit me in New York"? "No not now", she replies, as she goes on to describe how she use to live here many years ago. She remembers looking out the window and watching as things went by. "Well mom I remember you and I going to the museums, the theatre,the top of the Empire State Building, and taking the buses and subways all over". "Lisa, I did that? I do not remember for it was so long ago". "I do mom, and I also remember how much you enjoyed yourself ".
Unfortuantely if she did these things earlier today, she still would not remember anything. This is what Alzheimer's has done to her. Her mind once filled with beautiful visions, has now become a blank canvas. A lifetime of her memories all have disappeared.
"Mom, I love you ,I'll speak to you later". "Okey dokey", she says and answers with," I love you even more".
I have just approached the Alzheimer's Association offices in the city. I am here for a meeting to get involved with a project to help spread awareness with them for September is Alzheimer's Month . We want to paint the town purple, and to spread our word for all to hear.
It's strange how I hung up with my mom, the very moment that I approached the entrance to their office's. As I entered I has such a huge smile across my face and felt my heart filled with much love. I realized how almost everyday when I speak to my mom I am able to have these silly, touching and funny conversations with her. Conversations that at that time make little sense, yet they make us both really have fun and laugh aloud. A laugh deep from our hearts and one that fills us with much pleasure and joy.
My mom probably forgets immediately what we just shared, yet for me I walk away with so much warmth as she adds a big smile to my face. When my mom was free of this diseaese these light hearted fun converstaion did not exist. I was too busy wanting to get off the phone and now every time that I speak to her I hang up with feelings of so much love and happiness.
As strange as it sounds, there for me is much joy in whatever time we still have together, for this special lady, can really make me smile.