Monday, April 18, 2011

Mom ,Dad & Me


As a child I do not remember getting upset with my dad, only with my mom.  My mom seemed to be the one who made alot of the decisions. I remember that when my dad would come home from work my mom would tell him that I had opened a “fresh” mouth to her.  My dad would then take me up to my room, to either give me a spanking or in some cases, to say “don’t tell your mother that I ‘m not punishing you, or she’ll get upset with me”.  I think he did this because, when and if he hit me, I would not speak to him.  My dad would really get upset about that and he would immediately apologize to me.  Now may I ask, how is that for a double message or meaning?  Did I have my dad “wrapped” as a matter of speaking around my finger?  My mom who both my brother and I were so sure was the “boss” in the family, found out quite differently after our dad passed away.  My dad who died in 1995, left my mom only six thousand dollars in an insurance policy .  If she was truly the “boss” I’m sure the life insurance would have been sufficiently more.  Thankfully when he passed away my brother and I were already grown and out of the house or life for mom would have been financially quite difficult.  So today, unfortunately this has been a factor on getting my mom more home care with her limited funds.

The health care system seems to be troublesome.  The little money she has is too much money for Medicaid and/or Medicare. The system from how I understand it does not pay for any home care unless you are totally disabled and not able to “function” at all on your own.

 I often wonder and ask myself this question:
Was my dad always so busy spoiling me that my mom went the opposite way?  Was she “jealous” of our daddy’s little girl relationship, that in some ways she resented me?  I will never know the answer, yet in my heart I do believe that this had some truth to it.  

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