Monday, April 25, 2011

"You're Crazy"

I remember whenever my mom came to visit from Florida for one to two weeks that I was excited that she was coming, and then a few days later I couldn’t wait till she left.  After she was here for a few days we would start again not to get along.  My husband Bert recalls some of the “ugly” fights we always had.  The day before she was about to leave she would start a fight with me and then say “I’m never coming to visit again, you’re crazy” and I would fight back with her, unable to keep things under control.  I later behind closed doors in my bedroom I would complain about my mom to my husband and tell him, “good, she’s not coming back and I don’t want her coming here either.   I can’t stand her” and every year she would come back and, as history repeats itself, so did we. This became a pattern that we could not break.

Why did this drama go on, and why did we both seem to want it?  What were we possibly getting out of it?  If my mom did not get sick with Alzheimer’s, would I have ever had the chance to get close to her again, and even more feel such a strong love and bond with her.

FACT- Alzheimer's  is the Sixth leading cause of Death in the United States.

1 comment:

  1. You know my son in law is Hispanic and he and his mother fight like cats and dogs and say the nastiest things to each other, like, "I wish you'd never been born." and two hours later they are out shopping together, laughing as if it never happened. Maybe families argue because we are so close and can and still remain family. I'm not a fighter, and it bothers me when he and his mom do this, but they seem closer to each other than me and my kids, and we never fight, and we all enjoy being together. Go figure.

    There are 4 personalities and usually if two people are the same, they don't get along. Maybe you and your mother are both lions, like me, and your dad was a golden retriever. It's also called choleric (me) phlemagtic, sanguine (my dad, never met a stranger and my youngest son) and melancholy (my mom and daughter). It's interesting to study that and see how we usually marry the opposite of our personalities. Both of my husbands have been phlemagtic, easygoing, non confrontational, etc.