Thursday, June 16, 2011


As always I speak to my mom everyday. Mom has no memory of anything I might say, a few seconds after I say it.  I always need to repeat it to her and she still cannot remember it. Yet yesterday and today she brought up to me this Mother's Day card that I had sent her. This card which I thought was special, has a beautiful pop up flower. Ruthie tells me on both days that she looks at her Mother's Day card (that I sent her) everyday and see's this beautiful flower. Mother's Day was over four weeks ago. All I can say is WoW !


I had mentioned to my mom in the same conversation that Darlene my x sister in law (who I am still so very close with) sent me a birthday card.  My brother had several marriages that ended in divorce.  Darlene was one of them .  She is Aunt Darlene to Logan and the sister I never had. Darlene is one of the most special, spiritual human beings that you could ever meet.  My mom did see her only three years ago.  Darlene is very involved with the Dalai Lama and was in New York for the opening of an Art show, that she had put together; and was in the process of taking it around the world.  We planned the dates and purposely had my mom come to New York at the same time so they could see one another. At that time my mom could still travel  by herself  to visit.   Both my parents loved Darlene deeply and had stayed in contact with her for many years after my brother & she split up.

Today my mom said she did not know who Darlene was. For a second my heart hurt for the loss of this meaningful enduring relationship that just faded away from my mom’s memory.  Her disease of Alzheimer’s makes me wonder how it can just wipe away my mom’s memory of people, family and friends whom she has known for years and years and had shared so much with.   A whole lifetime of people and experiences gone just like that.   And then I ask, how does my mom remember to spell all these words in a few seconds flat?   Can the mind be so cruel? Or perhaps different parts of the brain are not affected.  Does she know what is happening to her?  Is she scared?  As of now I think not.  So another wonderful day goes by where I still have my mom, the one who still answers the phone with a big smile in her voice when I say “Hi mom, how’s my favorite mom"!  I am still so grateful and filled with much gratitude.

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