Wednesday, June 22, 2011
TRADING PLACES or IS ALZHEIMER'S CATCHING ?
TRADING PLACES or IS ALZHEIMER’S CATCHING
On a light note, I seemed to switch places with my mom today. I became my mom and she became me. This morning she was trying to help me find my mascara that I had misplaced. While on the phone with my mom I was going to put my eye makeup on, which can easily be done, while I have her on the speaker phone. I then began to move about, which is what I do from time to time. While speaking to my mom I cannot find my mascara and under eye concealer. As we continue to talk, I keep opening and closing the draws in my bathroom vanity where they always are. I can’t find them so I start getting upset and my mom says” so you’ll go buy new ones”, and I say” that’s not the point. I always keep them in the same place”. My mom tells me to check my handbag and to take everything out of the bag. After emptying my bag, I still cannot find my makeup, she then tells me to retrace every place where I have been. I look in my handbag again and the kitchen garbage (did I accidently throw them out)? Ruthie tells me to look in the clothes I wore yesterday, and my robe, which I have already done. She asks me how much it would cost to replace them, I say maybe $30 dollars “but mom that’s not the point” how can they just disappear? My mom then says don’t worry they’ll reappear and I start to laugh.
Did I become her or did she become me? Did we just trade places? I didn’t like the feeling of being confused not understanding what had happened to my makeup that is always in the same place, same draw all of the time. I’ve been with her when she goes through similar episodes and is looking in her handbag for her 4 pairs of glasses. She seems to wander back and forth trying to find what she has misplaced. I feel lots of compassion for her as she keeps looking, not understanding what she did with them. Here I “understanding” what I am doing, yet feeling so confused and frustrated at, how could I have lost my makeup? Where can it be? What’s happening to me? Am I in early stages of dementia or Alzheimer’s also?
Anyway after I hang up I find the makeup, it only fell on the floor behind the toilet. Why didn’t I think of looking there before I went through garbage cans and had an anxiety attack?
I call my mom back to tell her I found them and she asks where and I start to laugh, and tell her I felt like her for a second, and she replies “why I have a good memory and I don’t lose things”. Sure mom, whatever you say. She’s still looking for her watch that she can’t find for a year, now she says she never had one! We we’re like the blind leading the blind for a few minutes there although my mom, my hero stayed cool and calm as she told me where to look and it felt real good , my mom once again taking care of me. What a wonderful warm feeling. I thank you mom.