Thursday, June 2, 2011

Mom's Last Trip East

Before I begin my actual blog for today, I would like to share my phone call with my mom this morning.  I'm feeling a little heavy in my heart for my mom(or maybe really for me). I told my mom that my brother Gil would be coming today to take her to lunch which he has done for several years .

My mom had no recollection of that, which again is the same way that she cannot remember anything (for over a year now). Ruthie started to tell me that she was dressed although she could not find her shoes. She was wearing shoes that were too big for her and had no socks on. I know that my mom has her shoes lined up next to the recliner chair where she watches her tv everyday. For some reason today she could not find them. After several minutes she was able to see them as I tried to assist her in finding them.

I then told my mom that she would have a very nice time with Gil and my mom said, "why, what do we do"? Mom I said, you and Gil go out and have a nice lunch each week. Mom then said you're right, I just cannot remember anything and with my famous answer, I say "mom you remember how much I love you, don't you"? Ruthie laughs and says "yes". I say mom that's all that really matters you can remember.  Thank you for letting me share this today, so I may lighten up. I'm not sure why today her seeming confused and lost, panged my heart.


 I did know after the last trip, summer of 2009 when my brother brought my mom up, to my home in Sparta, that she would not be returning due to her illness she was too disoriented and had some other health issues that are connected to Alzheimer’s.  She was constipated and in terrible pain that she did not tell us about.  It was quite upsetting.  My mom would go in the bathroom and cry to herself about how much pain she was in.  When I heard her and told my brother he confronted her and she denied it all.

 During this visit we took my mom and brother to see my cousin Carole who lives out in Long Island.  This is my dads, brother’s daughter, who my mom knew so well.  Many years ago as a family we were very close and visited them frequently. Not too long ago we all spent the Jewish holidays and Thanksgiving with Cousin Carole, her kids and grandchildren.  Several years prior my mom had also flown up to attend one of her son’s weddings. I showed my mom pictures from my album before we left, and even after arriving at cousin Carole’s my mom could not remember her.  I stayed close by her and whenever she went into the house to use the bathroom she would get lost trying to find her way out.  

We stayed outside because it was summer and we were having a barbecue.  My brother Gil really enjoyed seeing everyone, since it had been a long stretch of time since he did.  My cousin Carole and he stayed in touch via email for quite a few years.  Again how could my mom have no remembrance of Cousin Carole, my father’s brother’s daughter, who we visited every weekend when I was a child?  Regardless, we all seemed to have a lovely day.

1 comment:

  1. My cousin went to visit mother about 6 months ago and she acted like she knew him, but when her man friend came to visit, she introduced him as her deceased husband's double cousin. Then a few weeks later when my brother came to visit, she told him her uncle's son looked her up and visited. Her uncle's son would be about 90 years old, and I knew it was my cousin Larry, aged 69 who visited. People are so very hard for the demented to place in the right place, with the right name, and I feel that is why they want to stay in so much. I don't want to be embarrassed when they don't recognize someone.