Wednesday, June 15, 2011

SUMMER OF 2010 (continued)

Today when I spoke to my mom I was "playing" with her how she inherited all the beautiful features.
Straight hair,small nose, pretty little face and how I inherited the opposite; curly hair, a long face and big nose.
I told Ruthie that she is so pretty. Ruthie "replied I'm so glad you think I'm so pretty.and I think that you Lisa are really beautiful ".Thanks mom, and we all know that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  Being beautiful inside and caring about people is what really matters.

SUMMER OF 2010 (continued)

 Ruthie of course would like Logan and me to stay longer.  I explain to her that Logan has a job and that he can only take off Friday.  Mom thinks that she came up with a great idea, “so why doesn’t Logan quit his job”? Easy for Ruthie to say!  Princess Ruthie works no longer, although for many years when I was growing up she helped my father every day in his business.

Once again my mom tries to convince me to move in with her.  We have had numerous conversations about her moving to New York, and all she ever says is that she is not moving.  She loves her home, she has a lot of beautiful furniture (or memories, if she has any left) and that I should be the one to move, not just near her but with her. I say to her” how can I do that Bert (my husband) works, so do I, and I want to be near Logan.  Mom tells me that I would not have to pay for anything.  She is adamant that she has no bills.  I have tried to tell her that they would turn off her electricity if she didn’t pay her bills.   I explain that my brother Gil pays her bills for her with her social security checks.  She then tells me as usual that she has no money and insists no bills.  These are always the same conversations.  It’s funny how certain things she remembers so well and always has the same answers.

 Maybe not having any bills or money issues is a pretty good thing.  Alzheimer’s disease in some ways protects the person who is suffering.  No problems, no worries.  Perhaps as I have stated before it is the family who might be suffering more that the victim of the disease.  I am no way trying to make light of Alzheimer’s, I’m just trying to focus for my mom on the positive parts of what is happening to her.  Some days I find I get upset that she is so far away and how I would love to be near her.  I find it difficult at times to understand how her condo and her furniture seem to mean more to her then to be near to all of us.

 Although when I sit back and really hear what she is saying( that for the last twenty years this has been her home that she shared with her husband) one filled with lots of memories of my dad, I can then understand why she doesn’t want to let go of it.  Mom says that it’s her home and this is where she wants to be till she dies.  I have told my mom that if daddy were alive he’d move up to be near me and she answers me with “men are different then women they live differently and do different things”.  And for now while she still knows what she knows, before the Alzheimer’s totally steals her away this is where she can and will remain.


1 comment:

  1. Be glad she's not worried about the bills. My mom has a lot of money and no worries, but she can't remember that fact and worries constantly that they are going to dismiss her from the nursing home because of not being able to pay the rent. The other day I told her I hadn't been in for a few days because I was getting her stuff and mine ready to pay the taxes to take to the accountant. She asked what she would do if she owed anything, and I had to reassure her she has enough. I've left her a note in her Bible of all her investments, but the numbers mean nothing to her. As far as she's concerned, she has no $$$.