Monday, March 7, 2011

Mommy" Dearest"

Up until a few years ago when my mom was diagnosed with dementia there had been a real riff between us. Years of us fighting whenever we saw each other and words that could cut like a knife.
There were several years before she moved to Florida when I was in my early thirties that we did get along quite well, although I do not remember ever feeling a deep love for who she was( just loving her because she was my mom).I don’t think that I gave that much thought to our relationship. She was my mom and that was it. I did not have that deep sense of “my mom” how special or great she was.

While she was in Florida when my dad was healthy and alive I would go visit with my husband and son Logan. I remember that she said things that bothered me, and I could not believe some of the things that came out of her mouth.  I  recall her and my dad having some disagreements and thinking that if they do not “work things out” they should be on their way to getting divorced or maybe dad might just “kill her”(only kidding).

Several years later my dad became quite ill, was in a nursing home and for 8 months my mom became so wonderful, never complaining about her situation. She went to see my dad everyday and would drive alone, an hour each way, to be with him. She actually was filled with much strength and dignity. During this period I spoke to my mom everyday and flew down every month to be with her. It also gave me the opportunity to be with my dad before he passed away.

 Mom and I got along beautifully and I also got to really express all my love to my dad .After my dad passed away we flew my mom to Disney World from Ft Lauderdale to Orlando as we flew  from New York .My mom had gone through some very long, sad months watching my dad suffer until he died.

At Disney World we all had a wonderful time together .Then what happened ? Mom and I went into many years of a bitter hate love relationship. One that I thought I couldn’t care if I never saw her again until several years ago when she became ill.

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